RETANGOLO

KABUL LANDING (27.01.12)

2012-01-27T17:40:00.001+01:00

Arrived in Kabul today. It snowed. But the sun shines and the light is awesome (!!!). As the last time it's impressing, driving through by cab. I know you get used quickly to the kalashnikovs, the hummies, the burkas and the poverty... But arriving fresh is still impressing. And people here at the centre are really very very nice. It's cold in the evening. A little gas heater next to my cold bed. Allready scared thinking about the daily showers. Brrrrrrr. Now ready to hibernate for the night and tomorrow I'll meet my student kids... Think it's gonna be great here... Great feeling when everything has to be done. Everything is unknown...

EN ROUTE TO (26.01.12)

2012-01-26T10:49:00.003+01:00

What's an online log for? Especially when you got only a couple of visitors a day... Since I'm a bit bored in my hotel room in Dubai. Since they did give me my entry visa (hurray)!!! And since I really cannot post-produce all the pics I still have to deliver, without any breaks... And since the bunch of people who cares back home are expecting a bit of sharing of this experience... I'm now deciding to bring Retangolo back to life. It's also time to turn a page and start from blank, in terms of photography. It's a time for thinking :)))

I have been through all this here in Dubai two months ago. I was much more stressed. I wasn't shure to get my entry visa (wich I wans't this time neither) and most of all my head was full of all the imagery from Afghanistan. I went basically for a workshop to some "com" people of the ICRC in Mazar-I-Sharif. A great occasion for seeing my good friend Pablo in his element. Doing his important job at the International Red Cross. Last time everything was organized. Flights. Jeeps. Accomodation. A dream experience!
I discovered Afghanistan beeing another victim of our medial distortions and remembered a contact in Kabul, a person gave me back in Palestine a couple of years ago as I was volunteering as a photo teacher (awesome period. some of my best souvenirs ever). So during a short stay in Kabul I visited this centre and proposed to come back and work with some kids on photography, multimedia and storytelling. As it often is... without really understanding how... tomorrow by this time I'll be in Kabul meeting everyone at the Afghan MMCC... I'm really excited. It's going to be a great experience. And I will put all my energy in working with the kids and of course... I need to produce a good project for myself. Wich means putting a lot of pressure on myself.
Now back to postproduction so that tomorrow I can send everything from post office here before taking off... I'm very very excited. Happy :)

GALERIE FOCALE NYON (04.09.11)

2011-09-05T11:28:00.003+02:00

At the Galerie Focale in Nyon prints from my palestinian project where exhibited during the last three months. An experience I shared thanks to photographer Xavier Voirol, then with photographer François Shaer and awesome bw printer Aurelien Garzarolli at ACTINIC (Geneva). Revisiting the entire production for a (not even that)new editing, and the night hours inside the empty gallery (with wine and cheese) for discussing the hanging sequences, were great and precious moments, I was longing for since long. Discovering your own work with new eyes is incredible and when you go woow unpacking the prints it's just magic. Digital files become images... become real.

Then all those people being so into the stuff you are telling, about the reality in the camp. Having the chance to tell what you have experienced and what happened after you left. Really impressive. The feedbacks in the press, beeing interviewed and so on... Hoping a message gets along. Then selling prints. Seeing your work published. Seeing that it makes sense almost also in an economic way. It's really great and I am very thankful to the people who gave me this chance... Now what's next?

www.focale.ch

www.actinic.ch

www.francoisschaer.com

www.xaviervoirol.ch

SWISS PRESS PHOTO (14.04.11)

2011-04-15T08:53:00.005+02:00

At the Landesmuseum Zürich this years, by a jury awarded, swiss photojournalists work, to be seen in the exhibition "Swiss Press Photo 11". From the 6th of may until the 17th of july 2011. Opening ceremony 05.05 at 6pm.

Reto is proud his photo "Israeli soldier surrounded by palestinian women photographers" has been awarded the second prize n the category "World"!

Bravo to my friends: Christin Lutz for his big first place! To Jacek Pulawski for a 2nd a 3d place in the categories "arts" and "portait". To Patrick Gilliéron Lopreno for beeing selected for the cataolgue. As well as to my ex collegues at Tipress: Samuel Golay (1st prize news!) and Gabriele Putzu (sport).

Landesmuseum (HERE)

HOLYLAND - HOLLAND (22.01.11)

2010-12-20T15:52:00.004+01:00

It is really just thanks to Aglaia that our common exhibition about the experience in the palestinian West Bank now will travel to the Netherlands! And we are really happy about it, specially because the curators are really great people and the space is beautiful. For a moment I thought maybe Holland really comes from Holy Land... but no! It's the "holt" land (wood land).

link to the gallery (HERE)
link to Aglaia Haritz (HERE)
link to the related post (HERE)

PHOTO10 WERKSCHAU ZURICH (07.01.11)

2010-12-19T18:35:00.011+01:00

A selection of Reto's portraits of palestinian ex fighters of the Al Aqsa Martyr Brigades in Jenin, is to be seen during " photo10 - Die Werkschau der Schweizer Fotografie" held in Zurich (CH) from the 7th until the 11th of january 2010.

A special multimedia exhibition for Médecins Sans Frontières "Starved for Attention" by the VII photo agency and a "masterclass and talk" with James Nachtwey, on saturday the 8th, are expected, among other events of the photoforum related to photo10.

more infos (HERE)

BI7: VII BIENNALE DELL' IMMAGINE CHIASSO (27.11.10)

2010-11-21T17:41:00.016+01:00

Reto is happy to announce that his series of portraits of palestinian ex fighters of the Al Aqsa Martyr Brigades in Jenin, is to be seen, among the remarkable works of collegues, at the seventh international biennale of photography held in Chiasso (CH). The opening ceremony at "Spazio Officina" will be on saturday the 27th at 6.30 pm.

visit the official biennale website (HERE)

WORKSHOP (13.11.2010)

2010-11-04T22:40:00.002+01:00

After my volunteering experience I found teaching is not only fun but truly interesting. I may be only a young photographer but I discovered having allready things to give and exchange with people willing to learn. So this is my very first professional workshop, about portrait. I was invited by the photo club Lugano (CH) and I am shure we are going to have a lot of fun sharing our passion.

It's funny since I also started giving some classes (not as volunteer, wich is an extraordinary evolution) to differently abled kids. I never thought teaching or working with classes could be so great. Me and teaching? I would haved laughed some years ago :)

TERRA SANTA (08.09.10)

2010-09-07T00:00:00.010+02:00

Toghether with Aglaia, we are since long working on the exhibtion to be: "Holy Land" (original italian "Terra Santa"). As you can imagine the recent, second, longer stay in the Palestinian Occupied Territories heavily still influences our production and every day life. My pictures will be veeery classic - but in contrapposition with, some other, veeery conceptual photography. Exploring new ways of telling the same old story!

And of course Aglaia's feminine techniques will melt with the manly way (as she, ironically, defines) of perceiving the world through lense and technologies. It will happen in the swiss-italian canton Ticino... The flyer up here is again roughly designed by me. I'm happy with it... Now: to your agendas! See you there!

about Aglaia (here)

about a past common project (here)
infos about the gallery (here)

AMNESTY (02.08.10)

2010-08-27T00:30:00.004+02:00

Reto in collaboration with "Amnesty International" will be at La Rotonda del Festival, Locarno. Projections of his latest reportage in the Palestinian West Bank will be shown on the 11th and 14th of august at 9 pm.

Italian article (here) and (here)

CANADA (04.07.10)

2010-08-27T00:18:00.009+02:00

Reto's pictures "Swiss Army" are part of the "International Arts Festival" in Montréal, Canada. From the 1st of July 2010, for one month. At the Écomusée du fier monde.

The official website of the event (here)
German article (here)
The shown pictures (here)
About it in the local press (here)

EWZ SELECTION (15.02.10)

2010-08-26T23:54:00.006+02:00

Reto is very happy to announce that the photo series "Berlin: the Death Strip Now" has been selected for this years Swiss Photo Award - ewz Selection.

You all are warmly welcome to the opening of the exhibition in Zürich 07.05.10.

As originally published on BAZ-online (here)

Photographer's choice sent to competition (here)

German article (here) Italian article (here)

SCHWEIZER FERNSEHEN (07.05.10)

2010-08-26T16:20:00.014+02:00

Tagesschau vom 07.05.2010

Read on André Marty's blog about the experience in Jenin (here)

"Dort versucht der Schweizer Fotograf Reto Albertalli, einer Gruppe junger Frauen nicht bloss das Bilder schiessen, sondern das sich ausdrücken näher zu bringen. Albertalli ist ein Crack, ein Profi im Umgang mit heiklen Situationen. Aber er ist eben auch ein Ausländer – und das macht es so herausfordernd. Für Schweizer und Palästinenser"

André Marty ist ein Schweizer Journalist, der seit 2004 als Korrespondent für Israel, die palästinensischen Gebiete, Libanon, Jordanien und Ägypten für das Schweizer Fernsehen arbeitet.

SLIDE NITE (12.01.10)

2009-12-23T22:01:00.003+01:00

LOCARNO (08.2009)

2009-08-04T16:41:00.010+02:00

"The reto" is around at the film festival. and has a couple of assignments on his agenda yet! wich is for shure reassuring.
it's summer time. spending all tis great weather in the dark photoshopping the wedding reportages. hour after hour... still with passion, still with quality. still in love with photography. and still running after bigger visions... hope seeing some of you around for a beer. cheers!

Previously on 24 (15.01.09)

2009-01-15T18:04:00.017+01:00

in the pic: snowboard crash, or... discovering what magazines really are made for

The following takes place between...

17.59.58 I'm sitting in a bar in a typical swiss village sending out a series of 8 pictures of the ski camp with disabled people I'm doing up here as instructor... to the world press contest. It's always an exciting experience having a deadline to respect in strange situations. Wireless is working so so. That's why I can write two lines on the blog while sipping my beer... Cheers!

18.29.59 It didn t work and I didn t want to spend any more money so I m sitting in a Toyota Jeep (our cook led me), only the macbook enlightening the darkest night ,next to a hotel where I found a free whireless spot by driving around. If it was an American serial TV action drama , broadcasted by Fox, it would look rock and roll: reality is just complicated and cold hehe! Now I have to go back to the warm chalet ,to my disabled friends, for dinner.

22.38.00 Jack Bauer back in thw freezing car parked outside a hotel. Chloe O'Brian (Julien Gregorio) just called from a bar in Geneva, a bit sad but fun. World Press still not working. Cold. Captions going crazy. I m going to cry :.(

24.00.00 It finally worked after editing correctly the dates in the captions My legs are freezing and the computer's battery empty. You can see the 8 pictures on my official site...

a video to this link (HERE)

RADIO/VIDEO (04.10.08)

2008-10-04T09:54:00.010+02:00

SSM GAZETTE out this days. Cover and a black and white photo reportage, without journalistic text, on 6 pages. A PAYED assignment done at the IFA messe in Berlin.

ROCK AND ROLL TRAIN (03.10.08)

2008-10-02T18:35:00.016+02:00

Even travelling by train from one swiss languistic region to the other I do wedding postproduction on my macbook. I'm overwhelmed with stuff to do. My eyes hurt bacause of the screen. But it's a nice period and a lot of things happen without really wanting it... and again I've seen the friends I really care about and wich whom everything has the taste of a great adventure.
I also have taken, during this days, the decision to quit the collective Strates, for reasons I don't need to mention here. I hope now that I'll concentrate definitely more on shooting my projects in Berlin and eventually rebuild the relations with Milan, closing a bit more the door to an eventual confortable swiss life. I have learned a lot of things recently and I would like to take the entire responsability for everything happening to me, without wishing and hoping for agencies to find clients or for someone selling my pics... I will get back to the simple pleasure of telling stories with my camera, connecting sincerely with the subjects, and simply let the energy flow freely... without great expectations, just for the true pleasure.
photos © www.thierrygrobet.com

Ho-ney! what do you do for "photo-graphy" :)

THE END OF THE LINE (19.10.08)

2008-09-18T10:27:00.012+02:00

photo © igor ponti (perpignan 08)

Never before I spent so much days one after the other working constantly that much: postproducing all the things I've done since july! I spend all my time in front of a computer (it's scary)... I just hope that at the end of this all, some money will be there to invest in a personal project, in a trip to somewhere: in a reportage.
I see the number of visits on this blog getting higher and higher but the reactions to my new site are coming from just a few friends (I appreciate so much). I did cancel all informations about my identity from the blogspot profile but still by searching my name on google you'll find this place. And that's not good at all. So I want to start a new retangolo from zero (probably because I like the idea of a reto's perspective, angle, corner and cubby) But for what? I guess just in case of travelling again, I really loved to write about the trip to the west bank and the feedbacks where cool. Or maybe I should just switch the blogging thing definitely down. I won't even ask what some of you think about: it's no use, I guess.
News about my activity, about my location, are to be found on my home page and the one picture you were seeing sometimes realated to each post is there too... Just it's not that fun anymore. And I can't see how many visits I have and if somebody "gives a ph..oto". But thanks to those passing by occasionally! We'll keep in touch anyway! I just don't want this part of my thoughts to be found on google anymore...

IT S REALLY SCARY! i created a retangolo gm"ecs" dot net mail adress. my real name mentioned Anywhere. wanted to create a retangolo2 bloxpot blogg and the names they suggested, even the name appearing then as author!, where related to my real name (not mentioned anywhere) or "menefoto"... whatever we do on the wweb from a specific computer's ID leaves traces wich are kept. That's why by searching my name on the google you'll constantly find the stupid stuff too. I guess retangolo has to be shut down. But I'm not very happy with that idea... suggestions bout how to clean the web behind us? going to internet cafes?

2008-08-26T20:03:00.022+02:00

My personal professional web page is almost ready!!!
No official announcement has been done yet and, before, I would like you, my blogging friends, to check the site and give your professional opinion... (as a comment here, even anonymous, or by writing an e-maill).

This is very important to me... Thank you very much!!!

link to the page by clicking (HERE)

EMPTY WALLS (22.08.08)

2008-08-21T23:59:00.008+02:00

©julien gregorio / strates (HUG)

My site isn't ready yet. My agenda looks wired. I have a lot of postproduction to be done still... too much.

I discovered having an exhibition in Geneva, at the hospital (see picture). An assignment I got thanks to Julien, back in June, became apparently a show wich makes the kids (sick and probably bored) happy... My name isn't there, nobody cares. And somehow that reminds me what it all should be about, doing photography. I like it. I like the idea.

Wich makes me think about the exhibition my Palestinian pics will have at the end of october in Morbio (POSTPONED TO FEBRUARY), at a vine producer's cave... I really hope that this show will happen and I'm very excited, and I hope it will be more about the subject than the author of the pictures. Let's see...

Now I really have to focus on photoshopping and mailwriting. I have some more weddings to shoot and I'm very happy having taken the decision to go to the "Visa pour l'image" festival in Perpignan in september. I will try to focus more on the pictures wich are shown that on portfolios and agencies... I'm happy beeing more relaxed about all of this. It has probably something to do with the fact that I have some assignments (some are interesting, some really not) and that keeps my brain occupied. It has to do with summertime. But also with a general attitude wich I try to work on. ;)

Will I see some of you in Perpignan for a couple of beers? Would be nice!

PARDOn (080808)

2008-08-08T13:35:00.011+02:00

From the 6th until the 16th of August I will be in Locarno at the International Film Festival.
Since Aglaia is here too and working at the "Teatro Pararvento" and since the artist wich is officially exhibiting has left a free wall in the VIP zone... I took the chance and exhumed 5 prints of my "army" series, wich most of you know. Now they are to be seen by a new public...

This year I again have the chance to work for some nice clients: for the press but also for a prestigious company I worked for allready last year... and this time I will not act stupid and I will keep the details of my photographic adventures top-secret! No more counterproductive blogging! But hope having soon a web page to show you...
And: the peacechairs - the still unsold ones - are to be seen also at the Teatro Paravento during the Festival, and can be bought. The money would help children in Chechenia.
Infos (HERE)

JODL&ROLL (29.06.08)

2008-06-30T15:11:00.011+02:00

29.06.2008 Punk holds a souvenir image of himself at the jodlerfest. His head having been digitally added to traditional clothes.

Reportage from the Jodlerfest by retangolo & julien: click (HERE)

Backstage images of two photographers on a mission: click (HERE)

Infos about Jodlerfest (HERE)

EMERGENCY (21.06.08)

2008-06-21T10:53:00.011+02:00

Neue Zürcher Zeitung, 21.06.08, p.57

See a slideshow of pictures by clicking (HERE)

This morning, in shorts and sunglasses, I went to the Kiosk buying the Neue Zürcher Zeitung. It has been the first (press) job I had through Strates agency (thanks to Julien), the first job for the NZZ and a real reportage assignment (wich becomes rare), even if the event to report last only a couple of hours. I am happy with the pictures, the agency was happy and the picture editor too... I could not wait to be sitting somewhere having a cappuccino: I searched for the page walking into people. Looking at it I had thoughts about the colors, the editing, as usual... but then remembered to be happy. Some 160.000 copies are sold per day, and they estimate having 308.000 readers... It's saturday. A sunny day. People will take a short look at the paper on a terrasse, sipping their coffees, and throw it in the garbage (eco recycling separated save the earth compost amazonian tree help garbage, of course). And still I'm happier that way thanhaving an exhibition, and I am more motivated running for an assignment than for a personal project. Now I sit. Waiting to see what will happen next.

(18.06.08)

2008-06-16T12:25:00.006+02:00

Geneva: Turkish Fans ©ralbertalli

So many things to say. I'm so impressed about a lot of things, again. I really do appreciate a lot your comments on the last post. It has given me motivation. Thank you! I'm impressed about people I met expecting new posts on this blog, some comments telling not to shut the blog down. I shall keep on writing down my own business.

I'm in Geneva since a week now. The weather has been grey until today. The Euro08 soccer thing is just a big nothing. I spent the last days in my buddy Julien's appartment, toghether with his girlfriend and their one year old son. And I am sooo impressed about this school times's friend having given life to a new guy walking on earth. It looks hard. it looks wonderful. Until now I had one assignment and the person helping me most, accomplishing the task, was Julien. Not happy he is sahring some work with me. A thing today. Another tomorrow. And what could I be else than Impressed.

Thierry came back from Mexico City, from his dream assignment. Something is alive down here in clean switzerland! But I still wonder if I will come "back" to Switzerland... It's SO expensive!!! The appartments, the food.... life. But there is work. And when I have a bit of work I smile. I walk through life full of energy. I feel strong enough to go back to berlin and kick asses. But I somehow suspect that I will fall again. It's about seasons, also. It's about the weather. Friends. It's about friendship. Is it about photography?

2008-06-06T21:01:00.002+02:00

West Bank pics to be seen again by clicking (HERE).

Same pics but new link.

PARANOID (31.05.08)

2008-05-31T16:50:00.006+02:00

Lost in my truck driver editing. Since days, now. My mind brought me back to school and I thought of the super-teacher motivating me never giving up during the "boxe" project. The first time I proudly showed him my reportage, after one month of shooting, he put all the prints in a box, closed it and said: now you are ready to start your project. Today I think I'm exactly at that point again: zero. Put everything in a box, take your camera and start your truckdrivers project. But how comes I got no "real" work and still no time for really taking one month and live on europe's highways. I have been a week around with this driver, fifteen days west bank, a wedding... run out of money and spent almost every minute of this last month editing stuff!!! Or preparing a still unexisting exhibition with Aglaia. Or planning my web page. Computer, computer, computer. A sense of beeing useless. A bit sad. It feels like when I went to school as a kid: what I do is enough, but never excellent. "Your son could be more, he just doesn't want...". What is it? What have I to do? Loneliness is one part of the solution I guess. But who wants to be alone? Or is there just a normal thing going on here. I guess the only thing to do is to start from zero the truck project. In black and white film?

ROAD TO PEACE (12.05.08)

2008-05-12T18:03:00.012+02:00

After all this words you can take a look at the sequence of selected pictures from the trip to the West Bank, by clicking (HERE)

You speak french? For a betther understanding please click once on the small picture wich goes bigger: click on it. Now choose the picture interesting you. On the right side click "descriptif" and you'll see short but precious infos to read.

About the post song-title: listen (HERE) and read the lyrics (HERE)

BACK IN BLACK and white (07.05.08)

2008-05-07T09:58:00.010+02:00

I had nightmares about empty film rolls. Almost had a heart attack discovering the price of professional processing. But the contact sheets seem ok now. I really like some pictures on it. Balck and white is wonderful. The sensation of holding something real and precious is great. And the way you shot is different than digital.

No story. A portfolio. A "carnet de route". Without having seen anything a wine producer and art lover (and friend) wants to have an exhibition of this pics somewhen in autumn. No magazine seem interested and since our exhibition in berlin has been "postponed" to betther days no hurry for editing.

Scanning negatives in 30M would cost 50 ChFr pro picture. A thousand bucks for 20 scans?

This morning my mom told me (she's my news source!) that since Switzerland is not invited to Israel's 60's celebration (I like my passport again) a group of politicians and professors will take a trip to palestine on their own costs. Occasion for publishing a recent portfolio? So I will probably take a train to Lausanne and do my scans there, wich is less expensive then at the pro's lab! Everything has to be ready before the 14th (day of celebration). Let's hope.

By he way now discussions with collegues and friends are about war photography and ethical donnowaht, and classical photography, and doing this in YOUR way, and different...

First of all I have been to Palestina. But NOT in Gaza. I have been in the West Bank. There I did a lot of classical stuff on check points and soldiers and beautiful arabs... and kids with stones. Wich is not Club Med but there was no big danger. I did it black and white. It has been my personal project. That means that I payed for everything and I did what I wanted. Wich sometimes leads to a personal vision of a known cliché but sometimes also allows you to have pure pleasure and truly let go of all intellectual pressure and do what YOU REALLY like. It has been my holydays with Aglaia, we had fun and we played the game for our common art project: I tried to find dramatic moments to make the place look scary and with her fiber art skills she will draw what more there is to be seen... and told. So let's keep the photo school discussions for a next occasion!

Now my mom called in for letting know that trucks are stuck on the highway down here in Chiasso. Some are tuned on the police frequency: I have my mother knowing betther :)

BERLIN (30.04.08)

2008-04-30T16:46:00.009+02:00

The pictures illustrating my trip to Israel and Palestina are not part of the reportage I did!

As soon as the bw films processed and the editing done I will share the work with you

ReDrum: happy retangolo behind electronic drums in Haifa :)))

Some have might noticed that the posts about the recent trip to Israel and Palestine disappeared during the last days. After all we've heard from journalists and NGOs I got scared that the security guys at airport would find the evidences to prove that I'm telling lies about the "forbidden" labs in the west bank just googleing my name. In facts almost everybody told us to prepare a lie: "if they ask where you've been never tell a muslim place". So we wanted to go for 5 days Tel Aviv, 5 Jerusalem and 5 Haifa. We were getting pretty nervous. I bought a not so beautiful israeli beer t-shirt wich I wore at 3 a.m after severel hours fighting against sleep on an airport chair. Last rehersal: "tel aviv, jeru, haifa" "tourists"... if they can prove we've been in the west bank we''ll both have to have the same lie "we went to hebron but got scared and returned to israel". If they could prove more "inch'allah". At 4 a.m we were standing in those crowded lines. We also were told that they give you a colored sticker on the passport: green ok, yellow soso... red: not good at all. A girl asked us a couple of routine questions until she saw my iranian visa. Three guys arrived. "why have you been to iran?" "why not?" by the way they were looking at me I went "ok ok no problems... i like photography and travelling and..." A couple of stickers on the bags. But they all were white. Dam'! Pass the bags through there and there, x-ray this and that. Open the bags, slowly. What's this, what's that. Thank you. Good bye. We checked in. The bags were sent. The roll films inside. The backup cds also. I got nervous. It wansn't for shure over! I mean: they didn't even ask where we've been! So we moved on to the boarder police check. Tension in the stomach and almost falling asleep. The girl-cop there checked my passport with a big smile, put a big stamp on it an good bye. We had time to buy a duty free vodka and enter the almost empty airplane. Was that really it? That's it? The tension going through my body was telling me it was not over. But then I fall asleep.

In berlin the police was standing all around the El Al plane with machineguns and a green kinda tank. Feeling sorry for history. A customs officer checked the vodka bottle. We are back home.

HAIFA (26.04.08)

2008-04-26T17:29:00.014+02:00

We went to B'lin and I probably got my photographs of stonethrowing palestinians (oh yeah). But what a circus! It looks a bit set up for a kind of activist or press tourism. Of course it's important locally to the main actors. Well... let's see the pictures once home. Unfortunately my EOS1 got broken and I had to do the whole thing with my little olympus mju2 . Wich was not that bad because between teargasses or plastic bullets, stones or whatever was flying through the air, it was nice having that small and discrete camera. In the end I was very happy not beeing hurt. A cameraman got shot with those rubber shots precisely on the lense.. well he's not happy. At all.

Today we arrived to Haifa, and we'll finally stay at Aglaia's friends home. They are Israelis and very nice and cool people. We could take a big shower, shave, get our clothes washed... it feels good! Here I have internet connection again. The good news I received via internet is that Simone, the photographer (see last post), is ok. Police got his cameras back and he had full support of the local population and authorities. He lost a bit too much of his blood (as he wrote) but now everything is ok. Wow. The bad news come from Berlin. The gallery in Berlin wrote a mail telling we will not expose anymore in may. That is really hard. I almost had tears and my stomach went bad. Yeah I am that hard ;). And if it was my own it probably wouldn't be that sad, but it's really undeserved for Aglaia. And that's how our brain unfortunately works: one bad news and everything looks gray... What happens to us is nothing compared to what we have heard those days. But still... I cannot do anything against my feelings. And: how comes about this gallery? I hope it's not about Berlin and Israel and Palestina... It's for shure again about vendibility. And that's politics too.

JAYYUS (23.04.08)

2008-04-23T19:41:00.007+02:00

We left Hebron early in the morning, after we (Aglaia and I) spent our night in an immense appartement with roof balcony and "cheap" 1000 and 1 night forniture. Jumping from taxi to minibuses all the way up through Ramallah and Qalquiliya, passing those unesthetical check points, walking across barbwired blockades, reckless of the soldiers in the tank calling us back. It's incredible how you get used to this all and how unspectacular it is! To us now the feeling is of total security.

But then arrived in Jayyus, a very small palestinian village, the phone rang... The last days in Hebron we met Simone, italian press photographer investing in a pretty longterm project in palestina and israel. We were told he was beaten down KO by some palestinian youngsters (become unconscious and went to hospital) and his WHOLE material was stolen!!! He was changing apprtement so he had just EVERYTHING with him: computer, hard disks, cameras... everything gone! ... ... ...

He is ok now. But that must hurt so much. He allready got shot with plastic bullets in B'lin, was threatened heavily by israeli soldiers don't know where...

But still we want to keep the vision of these places positive.

Later we went to a gate wich the NGOs are monitoring here in Jayyous. A desolated place. Some soldiers showed up with an enormous Hummer jeep (gift from the u s army) for opening the gate and letting the workers come back from the fields (wich belongs to them but are divided by the fence). "Who are you! (?)" - "Hello!" - "Have nottin better a do then stay here?" - "Oh I do pictures". The israeli soldiers where very young. One opened the door next me. Can I take picture? "No". "Common, just details of the hand". "Oh nice I have studied photography for three years, I love pics of the hands" "Cool. So: can I?" "No. ... Ok I ask the commander". A kind of a white rapper walked towards me, his M16 machine gun hanging on him like a nu-metal guitarist (down somewhere between his knees and his feets). Braces. "Werare you from?". "Switzerland". "Oh you got a gun at home" "yes". "that's stupid" "mh". An old man on a donkey passes by. "We are the most moral army on the world" - "hm?" - "We use soldiers for opening the gate and let the enemy pass by". We kept on discussing. Aglaia not far away and the NGO woman next to her. He is young. Left russia as a kid for coming with his parents "back" to the "sacred land". His father says that the russians would have solved the problem with the arabs faster. He himself is scared to death by the muslims, wondering about my courage staying at their village. They all are terrorists. After 9.11 the world is not save. Yes the Hummer jeep is a gift of the americans. "Fucking jeep, slow like a donkey, turning radius like a jet, you get litterally cooked inside... fucking jeep". Sometimes they get into the village, violent incursions against precise targets: terrorists. At least action, otherwise it's so boring.

The conversation was ver interesting to me, really, and I had to control my words and often shut my mouth. Nobody else walked through. They closed the gate again. I took some pictures but he didn't want at all. Some more pictures of some soldier here. I'm really afraid I'm doing stupid clichés I will show to nobody. But it's an imprtant experience to me, to us. Very.

Back to the NGOs place, in the village, everybody hopes there will be no raids tonight. Kids are playing outside and souvenirs of my childhood of hot summer evenings, at my parents place in ticino, come to my mind. I try to concentrate also on souvenirs of the army, for a human understaning of the soldiers point of view. This is all so fucked up.

H1 (20.04.08)

2008-04-20T23:50:00.007+02:00

As I thought nothing happened during the night at the school we slept in. We already got used to the weapons, soldiers, check points, heat.... The guys from the NGOs are cool. The risk is down somwhere by zero. The chance to translate things in pictures also. But here I am and here I will persist. I was told to go to B'lin, a place where EACH friday, some 50 to 200 kids riot against the wall confronting police and soldiers during one hour or two... kind of posing for the press (only the kids, but the soldiers shoot plastic instead of bullets, wich is nice also)... then they have an ice cream... and see you next week! Wich is really ugly, but for our common work it's an interesting chance : reflections about journalism. Maybe friday I'll have my mayday in B'lin instead of Berlin! And I would lie if I wouldn't be somehow proud of a good picture of a stone throwing palestinian kid in my portfolio... ;) It's just not worth a broken leg.

As I shoot b/w film you can easily understand that the pictures related to the recent posts are souvenir snap shots and have nothing to do with my reportage.

HEBRON (19.04.08)

2008-04-19T16:34:00.005+02:00

Hmmm what to say? It would be politics. And it wouldn't be objective. Can it be objective?

Hebron is divided in H1 and H2. Palestine and Israel, and all the settlements.

Our first checkpoint. Then the first incredible scenes. Taking the temperature: can I shoot freely? 36 poses are gone so fast, I'm not used anymore to roll films and I always check an unexisting screen on the back of my camera...

Long moments of talking, drinking coffee... watching videos of palestinian kids getting stones thrown at by jewisch kids after school, and always that impatiente in my legs and my head.

We're gonna spend the night iside the empty school, probably the colons could attack it during the curfew... and we will be there in the dark trying to get some pics. Sounds exciting probably, to me a bit idiot, but it's worth the experience for shure. I really don't think it's dangerous.

I just cannot believe that all this happens for real here and how the world looks at it.

JERUSALEM (18.04.08)

2008-04-19T07:44:00.009+02:00

Jerusalem is an incredible place! Walking through reminds me so much about summertime in Venice. A soldier here and then. It's hearing what really goes on tht makes your feelings go up and down (...). The separations between religions is evident, but maybe because we live in berlin it's not so impressive as I expected. Still the old city is really an awesome place and soooo beautiful!!!

Today, first day of the Shabat (my 29th birthday) I have seen THE wall for the first time. I stud there in the heat with my two cameras hanging on my red-burned neck... waiting for something moving me from inside. Again I really had to to think a lot about the theory, and translate, in my imagination, the situation in one closer to mine. I tried to do some pictures, but again nothing was realling happening inside (nor outside) of me. It's hard to me not beeing impressed by thinngs, it somehow makes me sad. On the other hand than little and apparently meaningless situations inflame my senses. Travelling is just an immense pleasure, with or without taking pictures or bringing home a "story"...

The news we get from the West Bank, from Hebron where we will be tomorrow, are a bit different, and we are prepared for stress (no real danger). I'm expecting to face real life situations about the life here. My body wan't uderstand theory, and my brain seems to forget important things. Is that the reason for my need to do photos? To stuck ny nose into situations.

By the way Julien told me to read a book wich I really suggest to all of you, especially tohse trying to make a living out of photography. French title; L'homm

e qui voulait vivre sa vie. By Douglas Kennedy, I'm not through with it by now, but I like it!

TEL AVIV

2008-04-16T07:03:00.008+02:00

Ever experienced the feeling of beeing at the wrong airport? It's horrible and you would like to disappear. But a taxidriver saved our trip.

Ever stud there like an idiot remembering your iranian visa on your passport while israelis looking at it? It took some more controls and time but we finally passed all the security checks with cameras, film rolls and the whole stuff...

"Going to West Bank?" "Nooooo too dangerous! We're here for holydays at the sea!"

Now we're at Momo's hostel in tel aviv. By opening the bags we found our stuff not the way we packed it and a letter from the security guys... Normal. But strange anyway.

Yesterday we had a beer at the sea, walking in the sand. Wow that changes from Berlin (hahaha)!

Maybe we'll move directly to Jerusalem. But if the journalist Iwould like to see here in Tel Aviv has time for me, we'll stay another night. Hope having internet soon again. CIAO

TURN THE PAGE (11.04.08)

2008-04-11T14:42:00.014+02:00

self. inside truck cabin (Venlo NL - Milan - Rotterdam -Venlo) ©ralbertalli

It has been been exciting... And boring. Very normal, very unexpected. Superficial but deep. It has been human, very silent. Too intimate. Not close enough. The smell of cigarettes while getting up sometimes at 3 a.m. The beers for getting asleep, sometimes at 6 p.m. French fries, meat. Beers again. The motor still running in my head. Asphalt. The intermittence of the white lines: Hypnotic. Different countries, different people... different languages. Same places. Same faces.

It has been so boring. I'll do it again: as soon as I can!!! :)

And now let's turn the page. And prepare for Israel!

THUNDERSTRUCK (04.04.08)

2008-04-04T11:22:00.023+02:00

Reinhard enjoying his sunday in Chiasso. I'll spend one week with him in his truck's cabin!

I take a look at my "next locations" on this page and there's a feeling like "wow!" that looks like what I always dreamed of!

Sunday I will leave berlin for going to a german truckdriver's home and then monday morning we'll leave with his truck to Holland. There he will charge and we'll drive through Europe, down to Chiasso, and finally to Italy. And back. Finally this project seems to happen!!! After all the waiting and calling... :))) I met Reinhard (the driver) in Chiasso precisely the 4th of november! It's exactly half a year ago!!!

I'll be back on saturday the 12th in the evening and on the 15th Aglaia and I got our plane to Tel Aviv. There we'll move to Jerusalem and meet several contacts, there and elsewhere, for our "photo/ fiber art" project.

We'll catch our flight back the 30.04... Probably It would be too much doing the May Day this year! (hehehe) Also because I have a wedding the third of may and we fly back to Ticino the 2nd at 6 a.m.

The 16th of may we got our exhibition "Doppio Filo" (as seen at Galleria Balmelli in Bellinzona last year) at the Abel Neue Kunst Gallerie here in Berlin Mitte, wich means a whole lot of stuff to be done... After that I'll process and edit almost one month of shooting!!!

Now it feels like: OK! that's motivating! That looks like the life I want to live!

It has been some strange days this last days... The "second berlin assignment" was canceled and again I had to say "no" to different swiss photo editors because they needed me in a short delay in Ticino (Switzerland), and not up here in grey Berlin. That, mixed up to my feelings, and I quick fell back into a kind of black hole... Then, as soon as the people we contacted in West Bank sent us very positive and nice anwers, and the truck driver called for "action!", I seem to defrost from my lethargy.... slowly. But certainly.

But it would be impossible to take control of your own situation without the people around you, and their precious and selfless help and support...

and INSPIRATION.

p.s. oh yes and then in june I'll test, during one month, photographer's life in Geneva! By the way during the soccer EM08.

NEW BERLIN ASSIGNMENT (20.03.08)

2008-03-20T13:29:00.024+01:00

Ticino: wine cellar. published on SonntagsZ eastern issue ©ralbertalli

Back to snow stormy Berlin, from my short but intense Tour-de-Suisse, the phone rings and again I got a chance to do a photo job for the NZZaS, from here (to be done next week). I'm really happy! Still I wonder how it comes that things always happen when you're about to quit. I have almost taken the decision that my life will soon or later continue in Geneva, next to my friends photographers... where we can mutually motivate us and collaborate on reportage projects. The split is alway between beeing a zero in this big "artistic" Berlin living together with my girlfriend (wich i really like), or making a living as a photographer in "still big but no that big" Geneva. And exactly as I plan to quit, work flows in even here (after more than one year waiting). The real problem is that appartments in Geneva are not to be found so easily and they do cost TOO much, but a base of body of work (photography !) would already be waiting for me and a room 20 min from city also... I will go to this place for one month and have a try.

By the way: there is no way for me to go to Gaza. So I'll keep up the truck-driver project and start again with the jeezus rockers or the wall project. It's hard to motivate yourself. But no use talking about it. Now the sun shines outside. We're also thinking about taking a trip to Cisgiordania (english?)...

This last weeks I had to refuse some 4 or 5 pretty important press jobs (!!!) because i had other jobs or was in the wrong place! This is just SO AWESOME then they never happen in those periods when you are dying of boredom. Unbelievable.

ABEL (08.03.08)

2008-03-08T12:49:00.010+01:00

Some of you might remember the first blog I had toghether with Aglaia... so you probably see on wich common project we worked and some of you may even have seen the exhibition back in homeland Ticino... A year has almost past since, and finally, thanks to Aglaia's focused motivation, a gallery in Mitte Berlin will show the work. It's really great news! An important goal; especially for her. More details on Aglaia's blog (here).

And for the courious among you: the nzz.a.s issue of last week, publishing my first berlin assignment. click (here)

2008-03-01T15:11:00.004+01:00

As Aglaia (click here) reminds me (kindly) it was NOT my first Berlin assignment since I shot some gigs for a heavy metal magazine... I wonder WHY I don't consider it serious work (...)

FIRST BERLIN ASSIGNMENT (22.02.08)

2008-02-22T22:53:00.011+01:00

Well well, after one year and a half in Berlin I was asked today to do some pictures HERE.

A very nice assignment from an important swiss-german sunday paper, a real reportage (!) about some "cool" places in Berlin. I will not tell you more unless it's done! Feels great! :)

POZNAN (20.02.08)

2008-02-21T17:57:00.004+01:00

For Aglaia's birthday we visited Poland, for the first time since we live in Berlin, by spending two days in Poznan. A selection of souvenir pictures I shot to be seen by clicking (HERE).

2008-02-18T23:45:00.002+01:00

My old kosovo pics to be seen under www.strates.ch ==> boite

2008-02-18T17:06:00.003+01:00

Ciao,

spero tutto bene

Grazie abbiamo ricevuto il Kosovo,bello, complimenti

speriamo! lo proponiamo all'estero tranne germania e svizzera vero?
DB (gn)

K.O! so: wo? (16.02.06)

2008-02-16T11:01:00.012+01:00

I really thought I would go to Pristina this weekend, for the illegal independence day. Flights a bit to expensive, a bit too much journalists in the same spot: no chance selling the pictures. And finally it woul not be a "story". But I checked my archive: I was in Kosovo in 2005 for a reportage on the Swiss Kosove Force Company (Swisscoy) and spent some days travelling alone. I sent some single pictures to the agencies... I'm not expecting too much but it's worth a try! And I found this italian text of mine wich nobody has seen before... A bit too long... And not finished!
©ralbertalli. Testo non finito per Illustrazione Ticinese in seguito a decisione presa di non pubblicare il servizio fotografico del mio soggiorno in Kosovo. 2005

L’aereo che mi stava portando da Basilea a Dacovica era pieno di soldati svizzeri nella famigliare uniforme da combattimento, e se non fosse stato per il simbolo della KFOR, con la sigla doppia: (una volta in cirillico) su sfondo blu e bianco, avrei potuto credere di essere a un corso di ripetizione. L’atmosfera era distesa e i ragazzi davano un impressione simpatica. E l’unico a non esser riuscito ad addormentarsi dopo un po’, nonostante fosse partito da casa alle 2 del mattino, ero io. Cavoli: stavo andando in Kosovo! Solo il suono del nome evoca tutto un immaginario alimentato da anni di informazioni e documenti d’orrore. Ripensavo ai grandi reporter che ammiro e alle loro immagini indelebili scattate ormai dieci anni fa. Ripensavo a tutto quello che mi raccontava al bancone del bar il mio amico Ivan, che era stato soldato della Swisscoy nel decimo contingente, proprio quando sono scoppiati gli ultimi grossi problemi a marzo dell’anno scorso. Studiavo la cartina che mi aveva disegnato sul blocchetto “da cameriera”, suddivisa in “task forces” e etnie. Sapevo che la situazione è stabile, anche se la pace è imposta militarmente. Che il peggio erano le mine.
Ero stato in alcuni paesi dell’ex-Yugoslavia (Bosnia, Serbia,…) l’estate prima e, nonostante mi sia soffermato solo all’apparenza delle cose, lo scenario che mi si sarebbe presentato, di case rase al suolo, cimiteri che si perdono a vista d’occhio e buchi di proiettili ovunque, avrebbe dovuto apparirmi in modo un po’ meno destabilizzante… Il che speravo mi avrebbe permesso di andare al di là di quel che resta delle facciate per impregnarmi un po’ più di ciò che mi interessa veramente: l’essere umano. Ma non mi facevo illusioni: avrei passato sei giorni da turista, da solo, nell’attesa che i militari svizzeri mi recuperassero per permettermi di realizzare il reportage sui soldati ticinesi, nei quattro restanti giorni previsti. Ma ero comunque in viaggio per fare il fotoreporter, probabilmente per la prima volta per davvero: con un mandato professionale. E ne andavo intimamente molto fiero.
All’atterraggio, una volta aperto il portellone il paesaggio che mi si è presentato era inatteso e nuovo per me. C’erano veicoli militari ovunque, filo spinato ad ogni angolo e imponenti elicotteri da guerra che ci sorvolavano da ogni direzione, in ogni momento,con un frastuono assordante. Ma i ragazzi in divisa fumavano le loro sigarette. Chi tornava dal congedo salutava con qualche battuta quelli che stavano per volare a casa. E io mi chiedevo dove diavolo ero finito.
Una volta saliti sul bus che ci avrebbe portati al camp degli svizzeri, lasciato alle spalle un imponente check-point di soldati italiani, armati, davanti ad un enorme cartello “Benvenuti: Aeronautica Militare Italiana”, mi è venuto il vago dubbio che forse, ma solo forse, quello scenario da film “Apocalypse Now” era abbastanza normale… per un aeroporto militare.
Guardando dalle finestre, sulla strada per Suvareka il paese mi dava un impressione arida e desolata, ma una cosa che subito mi ha colpito erano le villette monofamigliari in mattonelle rosse che parevano spuntare a caso, come funghi. Sembra che il paese avesse reagito prontamente e, una volta la pace imposta dalle nazioni unite, avesse badato alla ricostruzione immediata delle abitazioni distrutte. A parte il continuo sfilare di convogli militari la situazione mi sembrava pacifica.
Dal camp “Casablanca” dove convivono Austriaci, Tedeschi e Svizzeri sono stato accompagnato dalla P.I.O (Public Information Officer, ovvero: addetto stampa) della Swisscoy al mio albergo a Suvareka. Per accertarsi che tutto vada bene la giovane ragazza dai capelli biondi raccolti in una treccia, in uniforme da combattimento con pistola alla gamba, mi ha accompagnato in stanza e poco prima di congedarsi, guardandomi coi suoi occhi azzurri mi ha confessato candidamente che lei non è sicura che passerebbe sei giorni completamente sola da queste parti, che la mia scelta è ammirevole, ma di ricordarsi che in nessun caso l’esercito è responsabile per me nei giorni antecedenti l’incontro prefissato e che in caso di bisogno io non sarei stato una delle loro priorità. Mi ha comunque lasciato il suo biglietto da visita plastificato, prima di raggiungere il soldato con fucile che attendeva nella jeep all’entrata. Rassicurante.
Il mattino dopo avevo preso la decisione di percorrere la strada principale della cittadina con la macchina fotografica alla spalla, per sentire che aria tira. I negozianti stavano pulendo le scalinate davanti alle loro entrate e al mio passaggio si fermavano alzando la testa e mi guardavano con quello che mi sembrava uno sguardo ostile. Magari scambiavano due parole col vicino e ricominciavano a lavorare. Ricordo essermi detto che non sarei durato a lungo, ma poi accennando un saluto con la testa e sforzando un sorriso ho avuto in ritorno grandi sorrisi cordiali, e i visi che sembravano cosi duri si accendevano di una luce simpatica. “Mrdita” rispondevano. Buongiorno dunque si dice “merdita”! E con un associazione mentale non delle più fini me ne andavo in giro trattando tutti di quello che mi sembrava un insulto spagnolo. Ma funzionava alla grande.
A mezzogiorno mi sono fermato a comprare un hamburger e una Coca Cola (da buon “anti tutto ciò”) alla fermata dei bus. Mentre stavo contemplando un autopostale giallo, dalle insegne PTT e l’autocollante “CH”, che portava i suoi passeggeri a Pristina,sono stato interpellato dal venditore con un “what are you doing in Kosovo?” che suonava come un dolce messaggio di salvezza.
Ed eccomi a discorrere con la persona di cui avevo bisogno. Durante la guerra portava giornalisti nei punti caldi per 60 dollari all’ora. Ha visto tutto quello che non avrebbe voluto. Può spiegarmi in lungo e in largo tutto dei Serbi che vogliono eliminare gli Albanesi del Kosovo dal paese che tutti considerano di diritto loro. Della resistenza dei partigiani dell’UCK e dell’arrivo delle Nazioni unite. Della violenza reale che non è quella che ho letto sulle guide turistiche ma quella che è palpabile nello sguardo di quest’uomo e tutti quelli che incontrerò in questo viaggio. “You are from Switzerlan, eh?” Si ricorda di un capodanno passato a Losanna. Si ricorda dei volontari sul ponte de Bessières che impedivano a chi volesse di suicidarsi. Lui avrebbe aiutato, in caso di dubbio, a buttarsi, gridava. E’ inconcepibile per uno che sopravvive alla guerra vedere gente ridotta alla solitudine come conseguenza di una scala di valori sfalsata in nome della riuscita economica, tanto da voler togliersi la vita. Silenzio.
Mi consiglia di viaggiare. Il paese è quattro volte più piccolo della svizzera e con qualche euro i bus ti portano per lunghe distanze.
Di gente dal cuore buono come lui ne incontrerò in ogni bar, in ogni bus e ad ogni baracchino di cibo. Ho avuto la fortuna di ubriacarmi nella ridente Prizren con un ex combattente dell’UCK, artista e scultore, che si offendeva se volevo pagar da bere. Di attraversare per la prima volta il ponte di Mitrovica che “separa” la Serbia dal Kosovo con un ex prigioniero di guerra nelle terribili prigioni Serbe. Di discutere ore con operai partiti in Italia, in Svizzera o Germania, di finire con loro in discoteche parlando liberamente dell’immagine dei Kosovari all’estero, della loro natura fiera, imprevedibile e della loro predisposizione alla violenza nonostante una bontà di cuore indiscussa. Sono stato seduto in un ufficio con la faccia di Bill Clinton incorniciata al muro, tutto un pomeriggio ad ascoltare la lista quotidiana delle atrocità avvenute durante la guerra nella sola città di Suvareka, mentre tre uomini adulti dai visi scavati dalle rughe erano in lacrime nonostante la posa fiera e impassibile. Ho giocato a scacchi coi vecchietti in bar freddi e fumosi, che continuano anche quando per l’ennesima volta va via la corrente e qualcuno deve uscire a lume di candela per accendere un generatore a nafta. Non mi sono sentito in pericolo una volta sola. Ho sempre trovato persone generose che non avrebbero lasciato che avessi un minimo problema. Disposte a capire la mia ignoranza e a spiegarmi in lungo e in largo i problemi etnici legati al passato e l’odio del presente. A mostrarmi i luoghi, le cicatrici e raccontarmi le loro storie. Contenti che qualcuno si interessasse in qualche modo ancora alla loro condizione, dimenticata dalla ribalta dell’attualità… da un opinione pubblica occupata dall’ennesima ingiusta violenza che non lascerà nient’altro che massi di pietra incenerita e vite riempite solo di dolore e odio. In nome di una causa etnica religiosa pilotata, senza che ci sorprenda più, da interessi puramente economici. Ma quel che resterà dell’attualità di oggi sarà un’altra terra devastata e dimenticata di cui nessuno vorrà più ricordarsi.
Si preferisce commemorare il passato remoto, ripromettendosi che non succederà più, senza ammettersi che più recentemente è riaccaduto l’impensabile. E questo proprio vicino a casa nostra.
Dopo che altre immagini hanno invaso i nostri schermi, non sembra più necessario chiedersi in condizioni versano questi luoghi. Eppure la Svizzera che otre alla decisione presa, proprio durante questo mio soggiorno, di andare in Indonesia, non ha moltissime missioni all’estero di rilievo paragonabile, dovrebbe voler sapere perché c’è ancora bisogno di una tale presenza militare.

Una volta recuperato dalla P.I.O in albergo e presentato al contingente ero passato un po’ dall’altra parte della barriera. Adesso non sarei più stato in strada a veder passar veicoli verde oliva che sembravano venire da un altro pianeta, ma avrei percorso le stesse strade parlando qualche lingua nazionale e ascoltando DRS “drü” a bordo dello stesso Puch che ci portava in giro a scuola reclute.
Il mondo esterno ridiventava distante per me, e ho capito la fortuna che ho avuto di aver potuto prendere delle “vacanze” e visitare almeno le principali città da turista curioso.
Il mio programma giornalistico giornaliero era fitto e cadenzato in maniera precisa. Incontri, interviste, accompagnare sul lavoro, visita hot spots, volo in elicottero… Bello.
(scritto mai terminato)

CHE VOGLIA DI PARTIRE!!!

THE WALL (24.01.08)

2008-01-24T12:46:00.001+01:00

©ralbertalli Plusport in Saas Grund (VS) 2008

Swiss alps on sunny winter days are awesome! Boarding and supervising disabled youngsters is fun when you feel ok inside your own head. It reminds yourself that with your given potential you should definitely make more out of your days. On the other hand it shakes your priorities and you feel you should be happy with what you got here and now. Result: I'm unhappy with what I got and don't do more out of my days. I probably will regret one day all this precious time I m spending doing pretty nothing. But by now I leave inside a mental fog bubble. Can't really take serious all that's happening around me. I need action, I want to feel alive... I need more. I need a challenge. I need to go. By now I should be pre

paring for shooting a festival on the Niger but it will not happen. All this illusions, this mental images you keep on building and, wich never seem to become reality. It hurts a bit somewhere. Instead it looks like the path of wedding photography is attracting me without any serious intention of mine. I m good in reportage photography so a wedding is a nice topic. Easy somehow. But if very soon I do not do something I can be sincerely proud of, something enflaming all my senses and passion, I will become a fat alcoholic wedding photographer (hehehehe). I m sorry if it sounds like suicide, don't pick up the phone for asking me if everything is ok 'cause: really, it is! I'm still standing. Still fighting.

Still passionate and most of time smiling and making fun. I have this unfed hunger, this couriositiy, this will and strenght, fading 'cause of boredom... the will to do. I sometimes think that I don't know what I really want. That is wrong. I know exactly. By now I wanna be in Gaza. Pablo (infos) is there and since too long I want to meet him in his "

milieu". I asked "him" but no photographer is needed. I could go on my own. I want to do that before the end of Pablos mission. It always seems like "today is the day" for beeing down there. I just feel that if I travel on my own I get really lost. Paying a fixer? How do I find one? How do I pay the guy? What happens? My whole body wants to be there... and my brain finds all sort of explanations for why I should not. Even my girlfriend wants me to go, else she probably knows that I soon will depress. That's just everything on my mind those days when I m not snowboarding (even then it's on my mind, to be sincere). I guess I would like to do a black and white negative work... stepping away from the speed of digital informations. Then having nice prints and only then thinking about agencies and publications and all that stuff. Yes. That's what I relly want. Si uniranno Batman e Spiderman nella lotta contro il male? To be continued...

BUON ANNO (31.12.07)

2007-12-31T18:53:00.000+01:00

2007-12-14T11:36:00.000+01:00

"Man hat so lange ein Motivationsproblem,

bis man ein Zeitproblem hat."

TRUCK DRIVING PUNK (08.12.07)

2007-12-08T18:17:00.000+01:00

©ralbertalli - Chiasso: trucks parking lot on the border to Italy

It get's harder finding rock song titles to my posts. No surfer punk is driving no truck, Renaud would have the perfect title ("P..ain de camion"): I was again fulminated ("Thunderstruck" ?) by a call from the truck driver accepting taking me with, for crossing Europe and do a reportage on him for my personal photo project. He was hijacked in Italy and has now to spend hes weekend on a parking lot in France because he's late. Last week he had mechanical problems, and so on... I have to wait. So I somehow spend my time waiting for something to shake my life positively. I need good news! I need to find a passionating story to tell, a photoproject to live and love... I think that you know when you are on the right track when all doors open easily and you have the feeling of "getting with the flow". I'm waiting for answers from so many different kinds of projects now... something must happen and it will be the right thing. I juste hope it will be soon. :)

PERSEVERANCE (27.11.07)

2007-11-27T18:14:00.000+01:00

©retoalbertalli Berlin: Mauerpark, selling photos from the DDR era.

My dearest visitors. I'm sorry not giving you any news. As every year this period is without assignments. I have some goals set in my mind. There are answers I'm waiting for. I have dreams. I have visions. I even have some answers but I will nomore tell about until things are beeing done. It seems that beeing too positive on the outside brings bad luck. So...

But wish me all the best, pray for me or do whatever you think could make a difference.

I'm really thinking of shutting the blog down but the number of visits is still surprising, and I don't have a website. I hope that retangolo will become much more interesting very soon... that would mean that I am on an interesting reportage somewhere out there... Pray for me.

(I'm really doing very well... I'm full of positive power and trust! By "praying" I mean "wish me all the best" and it's related to my jesusrockers project... Have Fun too my friends!!!)

NOVEMBER RAIN (11.11.07)

2007-11-12T10:10:00.000+01:00

©ralbertalli - Stones on the floor in Berlin where the wall stud, as memorial.

November rain in Berlin? Grey snow! It's 9.30 in the morning and it feels like 5 pm. Gosh.
I'm not having a look at my blog since a while now... By the fact that I receive alerts in my mailbox each time you leave a comment and because of the nuber 3000, wich represents the visits (NOT the page views... the VISITS! wow) reached today (let's party!), I was reminded that sometimes somebody takes a look at retangolo! I was really surprised as I realised that two friends of mine ;) passing by at the agency's party in Lausanne is somehow due to the blog also... Hmm I almost couldn't tell news about myself on my "short trip" through sweetserland 'cause everyone had an idea of my projects and worries, as everyone drops by here every now and then.
So now... This blogging thing isn't really useful to my photo projects... dangerous, as I was told, because I speak to much about my clients (?) and probably to self centered... And: it will not replace human discussions in front of a beer. The stupid thing to me is that you now find retangolo by googleing my name, and pretty on the top. Wich isn't giving a very professional image of me as a photographer. Maybe. And of course my english is pretty bad but the only way to keep in touch with everyone (italian, french, german or english speaking).
I'm now willing and motivated to DO. I want my attitude to be active and positive. I'm doing things I was thinking about since a long... I'm not exactly happy or proud but that's probably the best way to feel. It has to be strictly normal... one step behind the other... bam, bam, bam, ... The wall project, the jesus project, the trucks project... my own health project :)... inventing projects... No more sprints! Just one way of beeing. Constantly and efficiently but normally active. I think the gratest metamorphosis I went through is taking the complete responsability for where I stand and what I am. So not only no more anger due to others but also no expectations anymore. No agency will find a job or money for me. And if they don't sell my stories it' because I don't give them good stories. E basta. I'm no more expecting to find motivation in a group of friends or collegues (see Meta or else). Motivation has to be there, inside. Audiobooks can help a bit or a good metal-core or trash-metal sound blasting your ears if you have a same activation level as mine :))) So dearest friends... in the end that's the way it is. This blog is about me because that's what a blog is about, I'm sorry if too selfcentered. Probably I should get myself a web page for my pics and that's it. No more blshit but just facts an results! Yeah no doubts!!! Yeah big scary tattoos on a worked out body!!! Color pics of smiling silicone dolls!!! Who wants doubts??? (food enough for comments?) ;)

photo-diary of my tour-de-suisse (HERE)

COME OUT AND PLAY (23.10.07)

2007-10-19T17:58:00.001+02:00

I spend most of my hours photoshopping a wedding, I want it to be done by after tomorrow... because then I will leave to Geneva.

There I will stay at Julien's place. Finally I'll get the chance to see the exhibition of his wonderful work on ambulances (Julien Gregorio " CARDIO! " site Cluse-Roseraie, rue-du-Crest 24, 1205 Genève). So as Christian Lutz's " Protokoll " (infos HERE).

On saturday we'll have a huge one-day-reunion at Strates agency in Lausanne and I guess a party in the evening. On sunday I'll see my buddies Thierry and Jenny after almost one year! Elia? Will be great... Then... I decided to dedicate one complete week in Ticino for starting a project wich is on my mind since years now. I'm really trying to work on my mental those days. I have to change some habits wich are really blocking me... I am a positive person, I believe in myself... but I suffer of a total lack of autodiscipline! I have to find a way to get things done NOW. I always think I have to wait for a cosmic inspiration... I find excuses and get myself occupied with bootless stuff (on the computer most of time)...
So I try to work a bit on that... the ten days of masterclass somehow inspired me. If somebody sends me out I will do whatever necessary to bring good work home. But that doesn't happen in life normally. Not in my job. If somebody asks you to do something it will mostly be somethng you dislike. You guys will probably laugh but I came to the point of downloading an umbelievable amount of crappy self-aid audiobooks with exhilarant titles as "ways to succes" "believe and achive" or "I can sell snow to eskimos" (GOSH!!!)... It's really terrible and it gets you an insight view of how the well dressed SUV driving superior race thinks and acts! It's about the american way and big egos. But I let them play while photoshopping. I guess I need advices, really, and I stand alone... in the worst case it will have been exercice for my english. I sometimes tell my girfriend about and we laugh loudly, but now and then a good trick seems to appeal to my brain and I write down a note. I don't know but today I finally brought the bottle of whine from Piemonte to the editor of this huge international magazine wich helped me soooo much with my portfolio editing, I walked along the traces of the wall for thoughts, I shot some pics, I bought myself folders and paper stuff, a new agenda and finally went to the fitness club for infos about prices. Now I take time writing on the blog because I really believe it's important... I think that it's important writig about doubts and not only success. I take the time doing it and then: BASTA... I will NOT come back on it fifty times for checking the visits... until maybe next week. That's the way it has to be. I don't want my life to be changed (no need of becoming idiot) . I just want to be more efficient. That's it. I don't think audiobooks will help any of us doing betther... But to modern life problems (sitting whole day long in front of a screen) I think I must admit to need modern life solutions such as f**king fitness clubs or internet coaches... It's a bit sad probably. So I now really want to spend more time on the outside. Walking and shooting. Bring my fat ass on the outside and just have fun with my camera.

If somebody is interestes in the audiobook thing I should probably recommend Russell Simmon's "Do You!" (google it), he's a kind of guru in the hip hop industry, he struggled up from nothing to the top, and it's not just the banking manager's positive thinking while driving in his mercedes... Not all he says makes sense to me... but some advices stimulate creativity in my brain. So...

some short news (here)

DO OR DIE (12.10.07)

2007-10-12T18:31:00.000+02:00

Siddharth (images HERE), the indian participant of the masterclass in Piemonte (images HERE and HERE), just left Berlin after a couple of days of drinks and discussions about what we learned during the last days. Same discussions I had also with Igor in Lugano and then again with Giovanni here yesterday. It's about passion, dreams and goals... it's often about getting serious, now. We can have thoughts about going to crisis zones, about sacrifices to do for doing photojournalism or photoreportage on a high level... Well in the end it all comes down to the same conclusion: start doing something and step by step you'll soon be somewhere without knowing how you got there. In my case it's really about DOING. I see now clearly that it's not enough having the talent of looking through your rectangle. Images might look great but it's about storytelling. It's a lot about editing (choosing pictures among your contact sheets). And it's about personal vision.

But unless you are not outside walking through rain or sand or cold with your camera it's no use having great theories. So again in my case it's about getting outside and getting things simply done. Done the way I feel it, the way I want it... so probably black and white even if no magazine is gonna publish, probably blured the way I like it even if no magazine is gonna publish... and probably I should really do more weddings and less magazines because it get's me confused... And in the end the big magazines will probably publish my work and money will flow in as well, if I keep it sincere. Now I am in Berlin, and I have a couple of ideas of subjects and I just should go for it, in my way. I know myself... I'm lazy. But if I don't do things now, I never will and then I really will have to deal with frustration.
I'm a bit confused after this masterclass... I know now that I have to focus on what I really want to do.

My work on nightlife in Monferrato (HERE)

ASTI (26.09.07)

2007-09-26T21:11:00.000+02:00

I m sitting in an internet cafe in Asti. It s 21.15. I got the assignement "night life" in Monferrato. Yesterdaz night I walked around until one in the morning and had a couple of good pics but as zou can imagine here at night it's dead. And probably you can imagine that we got that theme exactly for this reason. I saz we... there is a girl also on that topic. I must admit that it is a bit frustrating cause she access to almost everzwhere with her big smile and probablz i have underestimated the situation a bit. By the fact that she hadn't a very good feed back during the poretfolio review she s totalley motivated... My situation is alwys the same. They tell me I can shoot, that I m NOT enough patient and I feell that i reallz dont know where to go. I see this war photographers, nice guys, hard guys... they have what we call success... but do they live a successfull life? No home, no warmth... just nightmares where the corps they ve seen look at them... they have lived more horror and desperation that their cameras could fix. Is it what I m looking for? Why do I admire them? why does their work appeals so much to me? They say: move, travel, go and see the world... leave the confort and do your job. Stop doing colored magazine. Do what you feel. Stop thinking that the photographers go to crisis zones for winning award ore theyr ego. They the world to know. And they are excellent storztellers. If zou are not nobodz will listen. Hmmmmm... As Stanlez would say with hes american accent: voilà (ooalaa) food for thoughts. And what thoughts. Ok now I have to show that I can stay up until seven. I will do a great job. I have an appointement at a night club, I got permission taking pictures inside... you imagine? Permissions I didnt get cause I thought it was impossible.... I got bz walking in last night with my army shoos, my leather jacket, my uncut beard and the camera hanging on my shoulder... in the middle of rich clients and awesome russian beauties I think I was the one to picture in that moment. Haha! So: wish me good luck for this cold and rainz night... and if zou got ideas of topics into night life.... write it in comments down HERE

ACE OF SPADES (17.09.07)

2007-09-17T16:18:00.000+02:00

Informations about the workshop I was selected for (HERE)

My very good friend Julien Gregorio is visiting me here in Berlin with his 4 months old son and his girlfriend. It's about drinking and talking photography, about his newborn hero, about life going on and energy for new projects. It's a moment full of happiness this days here in Berlin. he sun is shining as if it was summer, we hang around and let life be and things seem to happen.
A couple of young "Christ Rockers" (I change the name here for several reasons) finally invitated me for doing the pictures at their wedding. It was really great. They were dressed classic, the bride in white, he in black, out in the german nature, big grey clouds and the sun shining through... and a punk-rock band playing meanwhile!!! beautiful!
In the evening coming home late I found the e-mail telling me that I was chosen for the workshop among a lot of young talented photographers. I was on a waiting list and one selected person couldn't participate so I got his place. Just awesome. It will be so great!!! Stanley Greene (infos) will coach us with Kadir van Lohuizen (infos) and some editors, journalists and "who knows" will drop by... and this in Piemonte. It'a dream. Really so great. I'm so happy and it means so much to me. And I have to thank so many people for this (I will, privately). WOW.
Then an association saw some pictures of mine in a magazine and want me to do similar ones for them. It's just what you dream hearing one day! And perfectly when coming back from Piemonte I probably have a wedding near by my parents place. So I'll make some money for my living and my projects. What a week!!! Only last week I was depressed hanging around in front of my computer while the sky was grey. Thanks for keeping on reading and leaving comments! The batman movie isn't serious photographer's work and I hope that some of my clients and friends reading will not judge me for this. That's also photographer's life!!! ;) CIAO

STRAFELICE (16.09.07)

2007-09-16T11:54:00.002+02:00

caro,
ho buone notizie. Uno dei prescelti per l partecipazione alla
Masterclass, è impossibilitato a partecipare, e quindi si è aperta la
disponibilità di un posto.
Sei ancora interesatoa apertecipare? 23 sett/3 ott
Fammi sapere al più presto, in caso afermativo possiamo metterci
d'accordo per i dettagli.
Aspetto notizie,
grazie

Director

Focus on Monferrato Masterclass

This mail I received yesterday really made me sooo happy! :))) I was choosen among a lot of young agency-photographers to be part of an awesome workshop in Piemonte, starting in just one week. I was on the waiting list until now... maybe some of you remember the first mail... if not click (here). It's soooo great!!! Yuhuuuuuu!!!

2007-09-13T14:28:00.000+02:00

Misfit: (dall'inglese) Disadattato, Pesce fuor d'acqua... Spostato!

RESILIENZA (31.08.07)

2007-08-31T22:38:00.000+02:00

Sfogliando qua e là... (copiato/incollato)

Cosa significa Resilienza? Questa parola non é molto conosciuta perció conviene andare a consultare il vocabolario

Se consideriamo questo concetto in rapporto alle Scienze Sociali, possiamo dire che “la resilienza corrisponderebbe alla capacitá umana di affrontare le avversitá della vita, superarle e uscirne rinforzato o, addirittura, trasformato” (Grotberg, 1996).

La resilienza é piú della semplice capacitá di resistere alla distruzione proteggendo il proprio io da circonstanze difficili, é pure la possibilitá di reagire positivamente a scapito delle difficoltá e la voglia di costruire utilizzando la forza interiore propria degli essere umani. Non é solo sopravvivere a tutti i costi, ma é avere la capacitá di usare l´ esperienza nata da situazioni difficili per costruire il futuro.

Sono sempre particolarmente contento quando vado a cercare il significato di quelle parole che nel testo sorvolo perché ho capito l'insieme del messaggio. E poi scopro che in realtà ho capito la metà :)

KAUF DIE BILD NICHT, KURT (29.08.07)

2007-08-29T11:07:00.000+02:00

click (HERE) to see what they did with my 200 pics sent urgently until 5.40 a.m saturday night. (the whole story again HERE)

BEOBACHTER (27.07.08)

2007-08-27T17:31:00.000+02:00

My mom sent me this publication. Pictures made during my stay in Ticino. The night passed at Paradiso Notte with Greg and Nana... and the rest: or you did read it before I cancelled it or you can imagine it. I have only one thing to remember: the smell of acid vinegar.

2007-08-27T16:46:00.001+02:00

click (HERE) to see some "behind the scene" shots of my minitrip
if you want - I know it's not that interesting
but a good souvenir to me

ULRICHEN (26.08.07)

2007-08-26T01:27:00.000+02:00

"Mindsensor", illustration by Kurt Wunderlich

01.28 a.m. I m sitting at the reception of the Landhaus Hotel in Münster. My beautiful black macbook is my only companion. But let s tell things from the beginning... while 210 images (3 MB each) are beeing uploaded to Hamburg...

As I arrived at Zurich airport I got a call from the journalist: his plane was late...two hours and a half too late!!! The clerks of Citiy Disc Airport must hate me: I listened to discs during the whole time and bought nothing at all (by the way Entombed s new album isn t really great). As the plane landed the bags took 30 minutes waiting more. Then we rented a car, took a drive inside zurich s evening traffic jam, then completely get lost on highways so that we missed the last "fair-train" through the Furka Pass and finally the gps (yes we had a gps and we got lost) went crazy because of the straight turns up in the mountains and we serioulsy thought we were totally lost in the darkness of the Swiss Alps. As Ulrichen appeared the village turned out to be nothing else than the first village you cross coming down from the Nüfenen Pass (Ticinesi for shure see)...
As we went for a beer we found the president of the FIFA heavy partying with friends of the club... we where invited and that helped us a lot today. We woke up early... I really don t giveadam about soccer but as I guess seeing the excitement of the journalist seeing guys like Platini, Beckenbauer and Blatter toghether is something special... and by the fact that I dontgivadam they all are all very cool to me... I also met some very cool photographers up here, excellent professionals and nice persons... One even is here for GEO schweiz! But: what a stress, what a hurry... the next friend asking me if photographing is really a profession will come with me just for getting the idea! And in the evening we discovered that the hotel has got NO adsl internet connection for customers!!! But the chief here is really great and I m now sitting at his desk, as I said, at the reception, wich could be very funny if I wasn t that tired and hungry. No need telling what it took to make the connection work... No need telling how long I have to wait here... And no need telling you on what time we got up tomorrow. My plane leaves at 19 pm. It s gonna be stressy til the end... but then I ll make a bit of nothing in berlin again... See you there!!!
By the way I feel by now exactly as standind guard during the army :/

FIRST FOREIGN ASSIGNMENT (22.08.07)

2007-08-22T19:08:00.000+02:00

For the first time in my life (career?) I will get payed for taking a plane and go to a foreign country for a three day long reportage. And the contry is: Switzerland! Hahaha! I can't believe it. But it's cool anyway! It's a sport magazine from Hamburg (pretty known even), not really the highest level concerning photography but I'm happy! Three days fallowing an important sportsman (the probably most important guy in soccer now) in the canton of Vallis!!! Car, Hotel, Food payed... and a good pay-off too. And on saturday some other two awesome names from the sport's world will play golf with "my man". A very exclusive story, a lot of pictures on many pages. The big shot! WOW.

Some things must be said also. The bigger Jesus Freaks event in Berlin, on wich I'm working (see some past posts here on my blog), is exactly this weekend. And... Aglaia just landed in Berlin some hours ago and I'll be gone tomorrow or after... But she's cool: doesn't have that "looking up at me with those old puppy dog eyes" by saying it's ok do what you have to do... she smiles and is happy for me. And I think it's great!
AND... the images have to be sent from this village up in the mountains and I DON'T HAVE A LAPTOP. So tomorrow I'll do a thing I should have done before... I invest the whole money I will gain from this trip in a macbook (the black one: gorgeous!). Well for that decision Aglaia laughed a bit less... I'm pretty happy today! GREAT :))) and the sun is shinig as it were summer again im Himmel über Berlin.

TOO LATE, TOO LATE (21.08.07)

2007-08-21T09:43:00.000+02:00

Try to wake up 7.30 each morning now. 8.30 rings the phone. "Guten morgen! hier ist TNT!" a sweet woman's voice. "Sie haben gestern doch eine Lieferung aufgegeben nach Genf"... "Jaaaaaa..?".
My CD is stuck at the custom. I have to write down a fake invoice of ONE euro and an orange guy will drive his orange delivery pick-up here for getting it. I called the client but it seemed to me that they have bigger problems that my undelivered portraits. It's raining outside and our kitchen is invaded by little flying beasts. I hate them. Good Morning Berlin! Where's my coffee mug?

IMPORTANT PEOPLE (06.08.09)

2007-08-06T18:00:00.000+02:00

Woke up early this morning, took the train to lugano, there changed into cisalpino where I met the journalist. We arrived in Milan a couple of hours later, had fight with tourists, took first class tickets, catched another train to verona. For meeting an important man. 3 pages of portrait, three big photo portraits on a main swiss sunday paper! Emotion!!! Then the phone rang, the journalist kept watching at me listening... "We go back home!" he says to me, "HE refuses to do the interview". I bought a sandwich and mineral water at Porta Nuova station, a ticket back home. At five p.m I was sitting in front of my parent's tv. Do I get payed for this? Dindn't even see Verona nor Milan. I think they will pay.

Gringo Home (05.08.07)

2007-08-05T02:04:00.000+02:00

While jumping from stone to stone, illustrating the lack of water in Valle Maggia I received a surprising call from a great friend of mine working in Gaza for those guys wich logo has a cross, somehow red, what a pleasure hearing from his war injuries (fallig off his chair, badly hurt in his office, dangerous place!). What a great pleasure!!! I really did appreciate! :))) www.pablomondo.blogspot.com
By the way he made me some hope, telling they changed someone at the press office (don't know what) and that he would try to make us a common beer possible down there. And I start daydreaming like a kid! Exactly like as a journalist had positive feedbacks on my proposal going to Chechnia, but then told me being a teacher occasionally writing, with no money (me neither of course) and no energy... started talking about armed guards, translaters, drivers... wha all that would cost... I always do daydream even do I know that it s pretty impossible. But let's never get up dreaming of doing something intelligent out of my photography! Like working for humanitarians, travel, help foudrising... whatever. Drying rivers are cool and you get payed (a bit) for shooting them on a sunny day but hmmm... I need some more sometimes.
Then tonight I could have gone back to locarno on saturday night but preferred staying in Chiasso drinking Guinness and watching some gays...oups guys (sooory) having a fight (fight? fat guy's slow motion floor cleaning!!!). Tomorrow day off, hope seeing Aglaia!
ps the title: gringo... green go... green go home (greens are americans for south americans). Gringo is how we call our Pub in Chiasso. See you there!

de PRESS (04.08.07)

2007-08-04T01:08:00.000+02:00

It's a nice moment for me... I'm working almost everyday... even for tomorrow an unexpected assignement flew in! Feng Shui? But not for the film festival. I have to illustrate the fact that our river fiume maggia is pretty dry! didn't even know! Anyway today I saw his majesty Anthony (f.f.f.f.f.) Hopkins. Unfortunately we were MILLIONS of photographers in our stroboscopic pogo (flashes and kicks) trying to get a well exposed and correctly framed photo of his face (no use speaking of portrait in this kind of case). It's real PRESS work. Acting like butchers wasn't Anthony's work today! But anyway interesting of course!
It's nice to see my ex-collegues from Ti-Press, hanging round with Igor and even the others... The weather is perfect. I just am not seeing my girlfriend this days, working at bar Paravento in Locarno... she works during the night, begins when I'm driving home with the rented Smart (ticino and no car? forget it!)... We will survive :) saluti

HOT DAM' (31.07.07)

2007-07-31T20:40:00.000+02:00

If you're not hearing from me it probably means I'm busy... And when that happens I'm usually happy.
I'm back in Ticino, film festival has not began yet but allready had some work and finished some other: a long wedding, a reportage for a swiss-german magazine after a night drinking (jeeez was that a horrible day, except for photography), another happy couple and some swiss francs for my next days. And I have some nice assignements waiting for me! It's so great having things to do! Today I received a call from one of the most important wach producers worldwide... a moment I was so much waiting for... they are somehow gonna test me with a portrait during the festival and that makes me feel under pressure. Really. You wait so long for a chance for showing what you got and when the moment arrives you s*it in your pants. I have some time for building up a bit more self confidence...I somewhen sweard that if this company ever asked me for collaboration I would pay myself toys for my Canon... It is not a long reportage so I can't invest a lot, but for shure a nice lense and a flash for the D5 would make it!!! I'm never gonna make it if I spend my money for working! But it's what makes me feel good! The agency in Lausanne seems happy with the teddy story and I hope somebody will publish. I will tell you about the God's Freak Show later and show the pics... It was pretty boring but very interesting. A good subject wich has to be developped more with some more time. Sorry if my english is even peggio del solito ma ho il cervello in pappa con sto caldo appiccicoso... ora devo darmi una mossa a spedire le foto, lavorate oggi in redazione per domattina! Amici ticinesi vediamo di vederci, il weekend son libero! ma non voglio piu tritarmi come i giorni scorsi, è l'unico mese dove in ticino si lavora bene... percui è proprio da idioti rovinarsi il presente cosi drasticamente! Ma mi farebbe piacere vedervi CIAO
And happy national day to all of you schweizer volk!!! Anyone seen the UDC (cdu) flyers? fucking racists! Hate them so much... Neo nazis will have a probelm substituting their swastika with the smiling sun on the logo! So uncool!!! (grrrrrrr)

CHECK LIST (24.07.07)

2007-07-24T16:10:00.000+02:00

My girlfriend just cut my hair shorter with my gadget from the Mauerpark flea market (infos). 20 minutes of pure panic! "Is this thing gonna work?" I really needed a cut, I looked like one of those "teddys on tour" (infos)... and I can't show up at a wedding like that... but neither like a punk, in case of problems! But she did great and I'm ready for tonight... I take her out for eating since I'm shure the money from that last wedding is gonna flow in (the couple was SOOOO happy! they always are with my work, but I get stressed anyway until I know for shure). We're going out because it's a kind of last chance toghether in Berlin. Tomorrow I'll be gone for the Freakstock Festival (infos) reportage until thuesday evening. Just 24 hours of shootin: hard! I have to catch the last train bringing me back to Berlin, and that will be possible just if catch the right bus before. If not I'm deeply f... . Our plane takes off on friday morning and on saturday pretty early a.m I have this almost 12 hours wedding... So it's like domino. If I miss the Bus... the rest comes with! But no problem. Then once back in homeland Ticino I have one or two days of pure leisure and afterwards the Film Festival in Locarno (infos) starts. Aglaia, my girlfriend, has found a great job as barmaid, dishwasher and cooky (infos)... and she will make good money, for shure more than here in Berlin, whilst I'll be anxiously hoping for clients to call. I'm pretty shure I'm gonna have some work. BUT! I don't have a laptop and I don't have a CAR!!! so how the f... do I think sending the pictures in a fast way? I have to organize myself! And pretty soon. Anyway... we are going for an indian (infos) tonight also because we both will be staying at our parents home... so definitely it ain't the same! So now if I have to prepare my big bag for returning in Switzerland... Pray for me and my Jesus Freaks ;)

JUST DU DOUIT (21.07.07)

2007-07-21T19:13:00.000+02:00

©Philippe Dudouit

Yesteray we (Aglaia and I) hung out with an iraqi artist, a friend of us, living also between our native Ticino and Berlin. He's older than we are, a real adult ;) , and has his place in the art business since years. He is an awesome talker. He is capable to talk and talk about any- ad everything, he promotes his work and himself constantly, he understud to find fundings, public or private ones, for financing his projects, he is natural born networker. He's got plenty of skills I ain't got , at all (i got probably some others, I'm not complaining). Promotion? PR? FINDING blingblings even before fisically starting to create your body of work? I don't have a clue!!!

Very interesting... And after some beers we decided officially to do a project on poverty in Switzerland. On a conceptual basis, artistic... for me always photographic. I wantede to work on this theme allready a couple of years ago. I'm in for the challenge of course, and let's see what will happen next. I'm courious. I hope beeing part of the fundrising level, for learning!
Today a good friend of mine called on my cell phone... MAN! he just came back from the north of Irak and did an awesomse reportage about the PKK's (Kurdish Workers' Party) (infos here and here) and I had a kind of admiring jealousy and a stupid frustration. I mean, in the end: I just should pay me a ticket to somewhere. This guy has my age, somehow we come from the same school and for shure we come from the same nation and situation: no miracles, just will to do. Then I took the shitty bike the neighbor lent us and went the whole afternoon up and down the streets carrying all our dirty clothes to the laundry. Now I look at all my black t-shirt drying in the appartement and wonder why the hell I sit here waiting for the miracle. And in the same time Berlin is nice in summer, the beer is tasty, kebab cheap, got a girlfriend, got a very little money to live ok for some months... Isn't there a thing missing? I should be able to fix some GOALS, clearly... put money aside for a project and fucking do it.
I was chatting with my chileno manflunflero friend and he invites me to go and see him, saying he's got plenty of projects for me. And soon I will meet again the journalist who created the peacechair project (infos) for Chechnya, he seemed intrested in my idea of a reportage with him down there. Let's see. Let's keep on waiting enjoying life as it comes?
By the way: I see so many red points appearing on the map, I can't figure out who's behind some of them! So please just leave a short hello message clicking on "commenti" at he end of this post! It would make me happy! Wh0's a la playa in Mexico? Is someone allready in Perpignan? And check out my friend's work here! (click on a pic for getting the whole story)

SHOW NO OPTIMISM (20.07.07)

2007-07-20T17:46:00.000+02:00

I had this bike. Pretty oldschool styled, really rock an roll... black! with big tires. It was a pleasure rollin on it. My pride. The only object not related to photography i cared for.
And TODAY it's GONE. I'm so pissed off!!! really! You might be right telling me that it was just a bike and blablabla. But FUCK! And my girlfriend's bike also: gone. Stolen. Now I would like to mention the best curse I've ever heard... By Antonio Albanese!
Here as "commento" for those who understand Italian... Dedicated to those bastards who got my bike!!!
And by the way... my Feng Shui lesson number one: Tell nobody you're happy! Something wrong is gonna happen. Keep on the angry face and be happy inside, in case you happen to be.

MURPHYS LAW (20.07.07)

2007-07-20T15:36:00.001+02:00

from "Batman The Movie - 1966"

Ma qualcuno sa perché non succede nulla per mesi e poi quando un amico vi affida il matrimonio di suo fratello e voi fissate la data, poco dopo scoprite l'esistenza di un festival rock di giovani cristiani supercattolici ma punk esattamente durante quei giorni? Ancora dopo vi contattano per un matrimonio (di cui avete momentaneamente estremamente bisogno) che si terra... ancora lo stesso giorno. E poi magari vi chiama un super settimanale di Zurigo per fare un bel lavoretto... alla stessa data ancora. Com'è che era quella storia di quel tale Murphy ?

FENG SHUI MACHT FREI (19.07.07)

2007-07-19T22:50:00.000+02:00

I almost fell off my bike passing by the wall today! If we weren't talking about Batman in the comments to the "mauerpark" post I would never have seen him! Anyway I discovered an awesome photo store nex to Rosenthalerplatz. Incredible! (www.monochrom.com) And there I found the classy portfolio box I was so hardly looking for... Riding across town I took some pictures, as a tourist , of the TV tower mostly, of the wall (trying to conceptualize a story)... I had AC/DC's back in black running in my walkman (sorry: no i-pod), my 5 euro sunglasses on...my face pretty shaved and I felt in peace with the town. I felt accepted, like if staying the whole winter thriough freezing litteraly my balls made sense today. Berlin is really a great place to be in summer! WOW. It's been since long I didn't feel so good connecting to the real world. Great!

I'm pretty shure this blog is helping me feelin a bit less alone (I do great with my girlfriend, so I really don't have to cry too much), but sometimes it's also about knowing you're not completely isolated. I feel betther since a made peace with my buddy Thierry, and I finally am no more thinking about the gallerist who kicked us out of his place after not having sold a thing. You might be laughing, mostly because it's the big beardy bear telling you, but we did some feng shui changes in the appartement (and it's NOT my girlfriends idea - she's still laughing on me, but less and lesser). One palpable thing is that the money zone of the appartement was stuck with our stuff and since we cleaned up well.. some blocked money is finally flowing into my pockets! Think what you want... I don't mind. ;) Wanna hear even betther? Downloading some music I've found a guy telling bullshit on motivation. A HipHop Guru whatever I don't know what... I kept on listening for improving my english. And: this guy put some fire under my ass! Since then I've decided not going through town by U-Bahn (metro) but by bike and keep on looking at things! I keep on writing on this blog even if I feel I shouldn't (cause it's not "work"). I made peace with some of my buddies I treated bad, and I'm still trying to rebuild contacts with some of my lost contacts. I try to change my pessimistic attitude to a sanely agressive and positive one. That's why I now go to bed before midnight ;)
Let's see how long it's gonna last :))) hehehehe

STILL TEDDYS (19.07.07)

2007-07-19T01:13:00.000+02:00

the wall ©reto

Sorry everyone! But I just can't finish the editing of this teddy story! Even my girlfriend was sitting in front of the screen with me, while moskitos kamikazing on, trying to figure out wich pictures are ok and wich shall be trashed. She gave up after burning them down from 99 to 66. Sometimes you shoot for days and got nothing to show. And here the story was so clear that in the end... I don't have a clue! I guess the subject was allready so fun that I somehow forgot to picture it in a funny way.

BUT: we are having a great conversation going on, on academic level, in "comments" about the MAUERPARK post . Really nice! And I do hope seeing some more red points lighting up on the world map here aside... I'm waiting for Chile, for Bamako... for Canada! I can't see if Lausanne is there... but I really hope so! Paris? And please leave comments! By the way... is some photographer (or else) between you going to Perpignan in september? Let's organize for a common ride! Let's share opinions and suggestions about our work! And Igor: we got tickets for the plane back, now... if you show up here in Berlin with your car, you might take some stuff for sleeping on the balcony! Joking, you still are welcome, everyone of you is... and... I almost forgot! The appartement in Berlin is empty (as long as Greg won't come back) (Greg? ...give me a sign!) and if you want to take a holyday in Beerlin during the month of august... tell me! (this one is serious)

sur l'objectivité de la photographie

2007-07-18T15:12:00.001+02:00

cliquer dessus pour agrandir!

MAUERPARK 16.07.07

2007-07-16T01:41:00.000+02:00

What a pleasure going to the flea (flee?) market up in Prenzlauerberg... today was my lucky day! After eating my traditional "Wurst und Pommes" I walked through this amazing place coming to life on each sunday... Well I found an electric haircutter for 5 euros, a great gift for my mom, cappuccino cups and... guess guess: a Beate Uhse video catalogue from the late 70's!!! Great! What we could laugh about it! :)))
The wedding is finished, ready to be posted....tomorrow I'll get the contact sheets and let's hope that I do betther shoots with a Hasselblad than shooting baskets. Tomorrow we'll play basketball again and...I got my accreditation for the Jesus Festival (!) COOL. So now I'll dirnk a beer and another day is gone...
And if you are old enough fot just laughing about it: here.

2.22 A.M (15.07.07)

2007-07-15T02:24:00.000+02:00

I'm really tired. I spent almost the whole day in front of the screen editing a wedding and preparing each single file to make the best out of the choosen shot. As always! I sometimes think the client won't see a difference but in the end I believe that he sees a quality (probably thinks that if he could pay himself my camera he could do the same but whatever...) Even if some photographers consider weddings shit... I do my work as good as I can. It's a story to tell! And I can invest some money in personal projects.

I'm really happy because after hanging out on the sand beaches of Berlin for one hour or so, all along the wall (looking for ideas), some guys called me on my handy for a basketball game... I still got some skills but...hey...my breath and endurance are GONE! So young and so old!!! But it already feels good, some bad eneregy was sweat out and for shure I will fall asleep as soon as I touch my bed... let's hope playing again on monday! By the way I didn't get answers to my accreditation demand for the Jesus Festival. I hope not having to pay! I barely can afford all this costs... let's see!
Thanks to all of you guys letting a message as "commenti"! I really do appreciate a lot! And thanks for ordering my "me ne foto" t-shirts! To all of my shy friends: write a comment in your language (italian, french, german, mexican, iranian... whatever) and make me happy! I go to sleep now. Hope having more exciting news soon! Ciao
and PS thierry I think a lot abou tyour story! let's get for a beer as soon as you're back from where you are...

FRIDAY 13 (07.07)

2007-07-13T12:05:00.000+02:00

Yesterday I went for (a) beer with the photographer Xavier Voirol (www.xaviervoirol.ch). We are part of the same agency, Strates, but we never really met. He spent 6 months in Berlin thanks to an Atelier program for artists and cultural critics. During this 6 months he worked on three (mainly two) projects. It really made me think. He is about 40 years old, 20 years as a photographer. Totally self-motivated, determinated and disciplined. All qualities that I miss so much! He told never touching his computer without getting shaved and clean before. You should see me right now! This guy walks around the whole day long shooting! Wow.
Then I received a mail from a young guy I met last summer. He wanted to become a photograper instead of the architect he was and asked ME how to make it . Well he is writing me that it is still hard in the beginning but he is making a living out of his stuff... The impression I have is that he is doing betther than me. I need to build up my WILL to do, right here, right now. So my dear readers: I got to go... taking a shower and finish editing the teddys! bye

TEDDY ENDING (10.07.07)

2007-07-10T17:44:00.000+02:00

Today I finished the reportage on Teddy Tour. I didn't notice that they where taking pics of me (click here) !!! Funny! ...Man do I feel fat watching at those snapshots! I really should visit a fitness or start boxing again! (no comments on this please). I noticed some days ago that a famous ChARITy ASsociation didn't pay for a work I did one year ago (the error was also on my side, I'm NOT telling, at all, that they are unwilling to pay... they do great job!) and that I will soon get a whole lot of unexpected money! Great! I wrote the bill today! What a pleasure! And I also sent out the application for a press accreditation at the Christ thing Festival... let's hope.

TEDDY TOUR (09.07.07)

2007-07-09T19:00:00.001+02:00

I spent the whole afternoon fallowing by bike these guys wich once in a while organize a so-called teddy tour. They don't make a living out of it but they have fun and earn some extra cash. You can send 'em your favorite pet and they will take him on a real tour from sightseeing to sightseeing in Berlin and catch pictures of them, as they were tourists. You might think that it's a stupid thing. We all can live with that. But I really think the reportage will sell on a magazine or another and I hope earning a bit money for paying the bills, the flat and the food. And I spent a great day with funny guys with a cool attitude. Send them your teddy! In the end all teddys have a huge party with beer and bio food! Rock&Roll! (maybe an idea for the Red Cross in Gaza?)
I will publish some pics as soon as they are ready :)
Today spending my time in the center I had some good insprirations for my project on the Wall! It's great not staying in front of the screen all day long.. even if I have a lot to do! Ciao

CHRIST KIDS (08.07.07)

2007-07-08T21:26:00.000+02:00

Today I visited for the first time a Mass of a group called in a similar way as Christ Kids here in Berlin. An Idea for a new Story suggested by a photographer friend in Geneva knowing a girl working on this theme for her studies in anthropology. I think the story is pretty interesting and I wanted first to visit this kids, ask for permission and getting the feeling. The meeting for Mass was in a bar in center. I first thought beeing wrong seeing "normal" young guys preparing for a rock gig. But I was told the holy meeting was there. A few other people between 18 and 30 years walked in. A girl with long dreadlocks turned out to be the singer, and as the group began to play I was happy about the fast guitars on puck rock tempo...the girl act sexy and as I listen to words... well... prayers in mothern key came to my ears. People with no interst in punk sound were fallowing the beat headbanging fast and praying in trance... As a big guy with military pants and cherokee haircut began to speak about the bible while the music played softly on the rough instruments i suddenly became sentimental thinking on human struggle in a society where you are left on your own and no sane rituals nor beliefs exist. It is for shure not a bad thing believing in a Christ then completely self distructing yourself... I just can't believe those guys are against avortement and homosexuals and for shure they can't wait 'till marriage for sex. I will be at their festival on 26 and there I will start shooting.

Tomorrow I shoot the Teddy Tour Berlin! Shure it will be fun! Ciao