HOME (17.03.12)

When I opened my backpack once at home, for a moment I brought one univers into another. It was so much stronger then showing images. It was the smell. Eventually the stinking of my clothes, yes, but more... a smell of far away. It happened at my parents place in my room I have since kid. It's great to change worlds. Not easy. But strong and important.

I am really impressed noticing that still a number of persons visit this blog daily. So I feel a pressure keeping on writing something, despite the fact I was thinking of the blog more as a letter for family and friends whilst abroad. And it would be nice having a couple of interactions, I am very courious about some reported signals from brazil or the states... who's out there? :)
Fortunately I got my visa in a couple of days and could fly away from Kabul without any further complications. Really appreciated a night at the hotel in Dubai after a month of washing myself with only little, gas boiled, water inside my room. Finally had a whisky. But it wasn't that amazing experience. When you change universe it feels like you never left. Like you were in Dubai the day before. And the big Kabul experience first gets compressed to a couple of images. But very blured. Strange. When I am inside an airplane, also it feels like yesterday the last time. Same for getting back to the office or the pub. Wich makes me a bit sad. And wich reminds me of my paranoia and the WHY I need to take pictures or wright notes. But arriving in Milano I understud seeing my mom's happy smile that I have been away more than a couple of days. I realized everyone at home really was worrying about me in the dangerous country they had on evening news on tv. At a point I almost started to believe I did something dangerous and heroic but instantly bringing reality back and knowing exactly what I have experienced. I still am completely unable to answer to people when asked how it was. It's like "what you expect me to say?" I don't have any war story. But when I just start telling some funny things from the daily life I realize it do has been a very special experience in a country where not everyone is willing to go.
It does feel good being here. The sun shines. It's spring. Nature is awesome. I allready got some assignments and it feels like really good being back. It's great going away also for appreciating this universe here. Until you can't stand it anymore and it litterally pulls you far again. But I am enjoying seeing my friends, and looking at normal things here like at great luxury... sometimes on the other hand you look at other's luxury, you listen to other's fears and you surprise yourself not even getting upset anymore. It makes you almost smile. Don't know how long this feeling will last. Wish could keep it alive. It's exactly this wich makes it unpossible for me to settle in one specific place. I need to be on a sort of move constantly. And hope this job of mine... wich I decide to keep on persisting with... will give me this possibility. It seems allready mid april I'll be on a plane for a very long flight!! I am so happy. But since it's an assignment I am not allowed to wright about.

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