I'm not having a look at my blog since a while now... By the fact that I receive alerts in my mailbox each time you leave a comment and because of the nuber 3000, wich represents the visits (NOT the page views... the VISITS! wow) reached today (let's party!), I was reminded that sometimes somebody takes a look at retangolo! I was really surprised as I realised that two friends of mine ;) passing by at the agency's party in Lausanne is somehow due to the blog also... Hmm I almost couldn't tell news about myself on my "short trip" through sweetserland 'cause everyone had an idea of my projects and worries, as everyone drops by here every now and then.
So now... This blogging thing isn't really useful to my photo projects... dangerous, as I was told, because I speak to much about my clients (?) and probably to self centered... And: it will not replace human discussions in front of a beer. The stupid thing to me is that you now find retangolo by googleing my name, and pretty on the top. Wich isn't giving a very professional image of me as a photographer. Maybe. And of course my english is pretty bad but the only way to keep in touch with everyone (italian, french, german or english speaking).
I'm now willing and motivated to DO. I want my attitude to be active and positive. I'm doing things I was thinking about since a long... I'm not exactly happy or proud but that's probably the best way to feel. It has to be strictly normal... one step behind the other... bam, bam, bam, ... The wall project, the jesus project, the trucks project... my own health project :)... inventing projects... No more sprints! Just one way of beeing. Constantly and efficiently but normally active. I think the gratest metamorphosis I went through is taking the complete responsability for where I stand and what I am. So not only no more anger due to others but also no expectations anymore. No agency will find a job or money for me. And if they don't sell my stories it' because I don't give them good stories. E basta. I'm no more expecting to find motivation in a group of friends or collegues (see Meta or else). Motivation has to be there, inside. Audiobooks can help a bit or a good metal-core or trash-metal sound blasting your ears if you have a same activation level as mine :))) So dearest friends... in the end that's the way it is. This blog is about me because that's what a blog is about, I'm sorry if too selfcentered. Probably I should get myself a web page for my pics and that's it. No more blshit but just facts an results! Yeah no doubts!!! Yeah big scary tattoos on a worked out body!!! Color pics of smiling silicone dolls!!! Who wants doubts??? (food enough for comments?) ;)
photo-diary of my tour-de-suisse (HERE)
So I try to work a bit on that... the ten days of masterclass somehow inspired me. If somebody sends me out I will do whatever necessary to bring good work home. But that doesn't happen in life normally. Not in my job. If somebody asks you to do something it will mostly be somethng you dislike. You guys will probably laugh but I came to the point of downloading an umbelievable amount of crappy self-aid audiobooks with exhilarant titles as "ways to succes" "believe and achive" or "I can sell snow to eskimos" (GOSH!!!)... It's really terrible and it gets you an insight view of how the well dressed SUV driving superior race thinks and acts! It's about the american way and big egos. But I let them play while photoshopping. I guess I need advices, really, and I stand alone... in the worst case it will have been exercice for my english. I sometimes tell my girfriend about and we laugh loudly, but now and then a good trick seems to appeal to my brain and I write down a note. I don't know but today I finally brought the bottle of whine from Piemonte to the editor of this huge international magazine wich helped me soooo much with my portfolio editing, I walked along the traces of the wall for thoughts, I shot some pics, I bought myself folders and paper stuff, a new agenda and finally went to the fitness club for infos about prices. Now I take time writing on the blog because I really believe it's important... I think that it's important writig about doubts and not only success. I take the time doing it and then: BASTA... I will NOT come back on it fifty times for checking the visits... until maybe next week. That's the way it has to be. I don't want my life to be changed (no need of becoming idiot) . I just want to be more efficient. That's it. I don't think audiobooks will help any of us doing betther... But to modern life problems (sitting whole day long in front of a screen) I think I must admit to need modern life solutions such as f**king fitness clubs or internet coaches... It's a bit sad probably. So I now really want to spend more time on the outside. Walking and shooting. Bring my fat ass on the outside and just have fun with my camera.
If somebody is interestes in the audiobook thing I should probably recommend Russell Simmon's "Do You!" (google it), he's a kind of guru in the hip hop industry, he struggled up from nothing to the top, and it's not just the banking manager's positive thinking while driving in his mercedes... Not all he says makes sense to me... but some advices stimulate creativity in my brain. So...
some short news (here)
I'm a bit confused after this masterclass... I know now that I have to focus on what I really want to do.
My work on nightlife in Monferrato (HERE)
A couple of young "Christ Rockers" (I change the name here for several reasons) finally invitated me for doing the pictures at their wedding. It was really great. They were dressed classic, the bride in white, he in black, out in the german nature, big grey clouds and the sun shining through... and a punk-rock band playing meanwhile!!! beautiful!
In the evening coming home late I found the e-mail telling me that I was chosen for the workshop among a lot of young talented photographers. I was on a waiting list and one selected person couldn't participate so I got his place. Just awesome. It will be so great!!! Stanley Greene (infos) will coach us with Kadir van Lohuizen (infos) and some editors, journalists and "who knows" will drop by... and this in Piemonte. It'a dream. Really so great. I'm so happy and it means so much to me. And I have to thank so many people for this (I will, privately). WOW.
Then an association saw some pictures of mine in a magazine and want me to do similar ones for them. It's just what you dream hearing one day! And perfectly when coming back from Piemonte I probably have a wedding near by my parents place. So I'll make some money for my living and my projects. What a week!!! Only last week I was depressed hanging around in front of my computer while the sky was grey. Thanks for keeping on reading and leaving comments! The batman movie isn't serious photographer's work and I hope that some of my clients and friends reading will not judge me for this. That's also photographer's life!!! ;) CIAO
ho buone notizie. Uno dei prescelti per l partecipazione alla
Masterclass, è impossibilitato a partecipare, e quindi si è aperta la
disponibilità di un posto.
Sei ancora interesatoa apertecipare? 23 sett/3 ott
Fammi sapere al più presto, in caso afermativo possiamo metterci
d'accordo per i dettagli.
Se consideriamo questo concetto in rapporto alle Scienze Sociali, possiamo dire che “la resilienza corrisponderebbe alla capacitá umana di affrontare le avversitá della vita, superarle e uscirne rinforzato o, addirittura, trasformato” (Grotberg, 1996).
La resilienza é piú della semplice capacitá di resistere alla distruzione proteggendo il proprio io da circonstanze difficili, é pure la possibilitá di reagire positivamente a scapito delle difficoltá e la voglia di costruire utilizzando la forza interiore propria degli essere umani. Non é solo sopravvivere a tutti i costi, ma é avere la capacitá di usare l´ esperienza nata da situazioni difficili per costruire il futuro.
Sono sempre particolarmente contento quando vado a cercare il significato di quelle parole che nel testo sorvolo perché ho capito l'insieme del messaggio. E poi scopro che in realtà ho capito la metà :)
As we went for a beer we found the president of the FIFA heavy partying with friends of the club... we where invited and that helped us a lot today. We woke up early... I really don t giveadam about soccer but as I guess seeing the excitement of the journalist seeing guys like Platini, Beckenbauer and Blatter toghether is something special... and by the fact that I dontgivadam they all are all very cool to me... I also met some very cool photographers up here, excellent professionals and nice persons... One even is here for GEO schweiz! But: what a stress, what a hurry... the next friend asking me if photographing is really a profession will come with me just for getting the idea! And in the evening we discovered that the hotel has got NO adsl internet connection for customers!!! But the chief here is really great and I m now sitting at his desk, as I said, at the reception, wich could be very funny if I wasn t that tired and hungry. No need telling what it took to make the connection work... No need telling how long I have to wait here... And no need telling you on what time we got up tomorrow. My plane leaves at 19 pm. It s gonna be stressy til the end... but then I ll make a bit of nothing in berlin again... See you there!!!
By the way I feel by now exactly as standind guard during the army :/
AND... the images have to be sent from this village up in the mountains and I DON'T HAVE A LAPTOP. So tomorrow I'll do a thing I should have done before... I invest the whole money I will gain from this trip in a macbook (the black one: gorgeous!). Well for that decision Aglaia laughed a bit less... I'm pretty happy today! GREAT :))) and the sun is shinig as it were summer again im Himmel über Berlin.
My CD is stuck at the custom. I have to write down a fake invoice of ONE euro and an orange guy will drive his orange delivery pick-up here for getting it. I called the client but it seemed to me that they have bigger problems that my undelivered portraits. It's raining outside and our kitchen is invaded by little flying beasts. I hate them. Good Morning Berlin! Where's my coffee mug?
By the way he made me some hope, telling they changed someone at the press office (don't know what) and that he would try to make us a common beer possible down there. And I start daydreaming like a kid! Exactly like as a journalist had positive feedbacks on my proposal going to Chechnia, but then told me being a teacher occasionally writing, with no money (me neither of course) and no energy... started talking about armed guards, translaters, drivers... wha all that would cost... I always do daydream even do I know that it s pretty impossible. But let's never get up dreaming of doing something intelligent out of my photography! Like working for humanitarians, travel, help foudrising... whatever. Drying rivers are cool and you get payed (a bit) for shooting them on a sunny day but hmmm... I need some more sometimes.
Then tonight I could have gone back to locarno on saturday night but preferred staying in Chiasso drinking Guinness and watching some gays...oups guys (sooory) having a fight (fight? fat guy's slow motion floor cleaning!!!). Tomorrow day off, hope seeing Aglaia!
ps the title: gringo... green go... green go home (greens are americans for south americans). Gringo is how we call our Pub in Chiasso. See you there!
It's nice to see my ex-collegues from Ti-Press, hanging round with Igor and even the others... The weather is perfect. I just am not seeing my girlfriend this days, working at bar Paravento in Locarno... she works during the night, begins when I'm driving home with the rented Smart (ticino and no car? forget it!)... We will survive :) saluti
I'm back in Ticino, film festival has not began yet but allready had some work and finished some other: a long wedding, a reportage for a swiss-german magazine after a night drinking (jeeez was that a horrible day, except for photography), another happy couple and some swiss francs for my next days. And I have some nice assignements waiting for me! It's so great having things to do! Today I received a call from one of the most important wach producers worldwide... a moment I was so much waiting for... they are somehow gonna test me with a portrait during the festival and that makes me feel under pressure. Really. You wait so long for a chance for showing what you got and when the moment arrives you s*it in your pants. I have some time for building up a bit more self confidence...I somewhen sweard that if this company ever asked me for collaboration I would pay myself toys for my Canon... It is not a long reportage so I can't invest a lot, but for shure a nice lense and a flash for the D5 would make it!!! I'm never gonna make it if I spend my money for working! But it's what makes me feel good! The agency in Lausanne seems happy with the teddy story and I hope somebody will publish. I will tell you about the God's Freak Show later and show the pics... It was pretty boring but very interesting. A good subject wich has to be developped more with some more time. Sorry if my english is even peggio del solito ma ho il cervello in pappa con sto caldo appiccicoso... ora devo darmi una mossa a spedire le foto, lavorate oggi in redazione per domattina! Amici ticinesi vediamo di vederci, il weekend son libero! ma non voglio piu tritarmi come i giorni scorsi, è l'unico mese dove in ticino si lavora bene... percui è proprio da idioti rovinarsi il presente cosi drasticamente! Ma mi farebbe piacere vedervi CIAO
And happy national day to all of you schweizer volk!!! Anyone seen the UDC (cdu) flyers? fucking racists! Hate them so much... Neo nazis will have a probelm substituting their swastika with the smiling sun on the logo! So uncool!!! (grrrrrrr)
Yesteray we (Aglaia and I) hung out with an iraqi artist, a friend of us, living also between our native Ticino and Berlin. He's older than we are, a real adult ;) , and has his place in the art business since years. He is an awesome talker. He is capable to talk and talk about any- ad everything, he promotes his work and himself constantly, he understud to find fundings, public or private ones, for financing his projects, he is natural born networker. He's got plenty of skills I ain't got , at all (i got probably some others, I'm not complaining). Promotion? PR? FINDING blingblings even before fisically starting to create your body of work? I don't have a clue!!!
Today a good friend of mine called on my cell phone... MAN! he just came back from the north of Irak and did an awesomse reportage about the PKK's (Kurdish Workers' Party) (infos here and here) and I had a kind of admiring jealousy and a stupid frustration. I mean, in the end: I just should pay me a ticket to somewhere. This guy has my age, somehow we come from the same school and for shure we come from the same nation and situation: no miracles, just will to do. Then I took the shitty bike the neighbor lent us and went the whole afternoon up and down the streets carrying all our dirty clothes to the laundry. Now I look at all my black t-shirt drying in the appartement and wonder why the hell I sit here waiting for the miracle. And in the same time Berlin is nice in summer, the beer is tasty, kebab cheap, got a girlfriend, got a very little money to live ok for some months... Isn't there a thing missing? I should be able to fix some GOALS, clearly... put money aside for a project and fucking do it.
I was chatting with my chileno manflunflero friend and he invites me to go and see him, saying he's got plenty of projects for me. And soon I will meet again the journalist who created the peacechair project (infos) for Chechnya, he seemed intrested in my idea of a reportage with him down there. Let's see. Let's keep on waiting enjoying life as it comes?
By the way: I see so many red points appearing on the map, I can't figure out who's behind some of them! So please just leave a short hello message clicking on "commenti" at he end of this post! It would make me happy! Wh0's a la playa in Mexico? Is someone allready in Perpignan? And check out my friend's work here! (click on a pic for getting the whole story)
And TODAY it's GONE. I'm so pissed off!!! really! You might be right telling me that it was just a bike and blablabla. But FUCK! And my girlfriend's bike also: gone. Stolen. Now I would like to mention the best curse I've ever heard... By Antonio Albanese!
Here as "commento" for those who understand Italian... Dedicated to those bastards who got my bike!!!
And by the way... my Feng Shui lesson number one: Tell nobody you're happy! Something wrong is gonna happen. Keep on the angry face and be happy inside, in case you happen to be.
Let's see how long it's gonna last :))) hehehehe
Sorry everyone! But I just can't finish the editing of this teddy story! Even my girlfriend was sitting in front of the screen with me, while moskitos kamikazing on, trying to figure out wich pictures are ok and wich shall be trashed. She gave up after burning them down from 99 to 66. Sometimes you shoot for days and got nothing to show. And here the story was so clear that in the end... I don't have a clue! I guess the subject was allready so fun that I somehow forgot to picture it in a funny way.
The wedding is finished, ready to be posted....tomorrow I'll get the contact sheets and let's hope that I do betther shoots with a Hasselblad than shooting baskets. Tomorrow we'll play basketball again and...I got my accreditation for the Jesus Festival (!) COOL. So now I'll dirnk a beer and another day is gone...
And if you are old enough fot just laughing about it: here.
Thanks to all of you guys letting a message as "commenti"! I really do appreciate a lot! And thanks for ordering my "me ne foto" t-shirts! To all of my shy friends: write a comment in your language (italian, french, german, mexican, iranian... whatever) and make me happy! I go to sleep now. Hope having more exciting news soon! Ciao
and PS thierry I think a lot abou tyour story! let's get for a beer as soon as you're back from where you are...
Yesterday I went for (a) beer with the photographer Xavier Voirol (www.xaviervoirol.ch). We are part of the same agency, Strates, but we never really met. He spent 6 months in Berlin thanks to an Atelier program for artists and cultural critics. During this 6 months he worked on three (mainly two) projects. It really made me think. He is about 40 years old, 20 years as a photographer. Totally self-motivated, determinated and disciplined. All qualities that I miss so much! He told never touching his computer without getting shaved and clean before. You should see me right now! This guy walks around the whole day long shooting! Wow.
Then I received a mail from a young guy I met last summer. He wanted to become a photograper instead of the architect he was and asked ME how to make it . Well he is writing me that it is still hard in the beginning but he is making a living out of his stuff... The impression I have is that he is doing betther than me. I need to build up my WILL to do, right here, right now. So my dear readers: I got to go... taking a shower and finish editing the teddys! bye
I will publish some pics as soon as they are ready :)
Today spending my time in the center I had some good insprirations for my project on the Wall! It's great not staying in front of the screen all day long.. even if I have a lot to do! Ciao